


Highway to Hell

by lottielovebuzz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe of an Alternate Universe, Cisswap, Demons, F/F, Fem!Balthazar, Fem!Bobby, Fem!Cas, Fem!Crowley, Fem!Sam, Female-Centric, Genderbending, Genderswap, Literally an Alternate Universe, M/M, Spells & Enchantments, Where TFW and others are Female, fem!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2017-12-18 03:38:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 34,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lottielovebuzz/pseuds/lottielovebuzz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The universe is made up of different realms and possibilites. Somehow, a trio is plucked from one and sent to another. The only problem is Deanna, Samantha and Cassie land in a world where they also exist as Dean, Sam and Cas. With no idea how to get back, all six of them learn to live with each other and begin to share the secrets of their own realm, as they try to get things back to normal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I will be honest. This is my first Supernatural fic, so I'm really, REALLY nervous about posting it. But I'm doing it anyway.
> 
> This was inspired by gif sets made by i-just-rode-up-on-a-unicorn-and from tumblr. They're really awesome and I suggest going and seeing them. I'm not going to follow them exactly, but some scenes will definitely come up.
> 
> This has both the canon version of Team Free Will, and a genderswapped version of Team Free Will. This has an implied pairing of Dean/Castiel - in both sexes. So, if you're not a fan of that, then you'd best hit the back button.
> 
> Disclaimer for whole story - I don't own any of the characters because Deanna, Samantha and Cassie are just like Dean, Sam and Cas but are female. But I own any part of the story line that you're not familiar with!
> 
> Anyway, enough rambling, here's the story!

'What the  _hell_ has happened?' She questions, her voice fierce as her green eyes scan her surroundings. It  _looks_ normal, but it  _didn't_  look normal. She rolls her eyes. God, she knew it doesn't make sense… but this  _wasn't where they belonged_. She just knew it!

'I don't know, Deanna. I'm just as clueless as you,' she sends her sister a small grin. 'For once.'

'Look, I may be confused as hell right now, but I will still kick your ass, Sammy.' Deanna growls, pointing a finger at her before dropping her hand to her side. She looks up to the sky that isn't  _her_ sky and sighs. 'What about Cassie? Do you think she knows or…?'

Sam shrugs.

'God, you're helpful, ain't you?' She lowers her eyes and stares out onto the open stretch of road where they found themselves and narrows her eyes as something occurs to her. 'If it's that son of a bitch Gabriel, I'll kill him.'

Again Sam says nothing, not voicing how it  _can't_ be Gabriel, because Gabriel is dead. Lucifer killed him when they were at that bloody hotel with those Pagan Gods.

'Why don't you try praying for Cassie?' She offers instead, brushing her brown hair behind her ear and looking around herself. How they found themselves in the middle of this deserted road, she'll never know!

'Yeah. That might work. Uh…' Deanna clears her throat, hoping to God that this wasn't like the time that dick Balthazar sent them to a realm where she was something called… what was it? Amber Heard? Like seriously! Who names their child "Amber"? 'Cassie… if you can hear this, it'd be much appreciated if you could fill us in, because, well, we have no idea where we are. This isn't our… I… Jesus, Sammy help me out here!'

'And say what? She's  _your_ Angel! You're the one she's in love with!'

Deanna grinds her teeth together before she turns her narrowed eyes away from her little sister. How she's put up with her for so long she doesn't know.

'C'mon Cassie! You gotta help us.'

No answer.

'I swear to God Castiel, I know you're busy with your Goddamned revolution but this is just taking the piss-'

'Deanna. Do you realise how often you take my father's name in vain?' She questions, doing that stupid little head tilt of hers, those bright blue eyes studying Deanna like they always do… like they can see straight into her soul; the soul that she had held in her hands as she pulled her from the Pit.

'Yeah? Well, you start doing it with my dad's and we'll be fine.' She grins at the Angel but as usual, the joke goes straight over her head.

'What do you want?'

'Where are we? This isn't… I dunno, this just isn't our place!'

'No. It's not. You're in another dimension. Like the one Balthazar sent you to before.'

'And he's got no part in this?'

Her silence gives Deanna her answer. No. He didn't. She's became accustomed to the Angel's minute facial expressions. To people who didn't know Castiel, they would think her face stayed the same, but to a seasoned Cassie-watcher like Deanna, she could see them; even Sammy was starting to pick up on it.

'So, what is this dimension? Because everything is  _real_ here unlike that other one.' Sam adds and Deanna can't help but nod along with her. Her eyes flickering over briefly to her sister before returning to her Angel… no,  _the_ Angel. Not her Angel.

'I'm not sure yet. It's just like ours… except it's… not.'

'Nice work there, Sherlock.' Deanna mutters under breath before she turns, her blonde hair getting caught in the wind and getting in her face. With a groan, she reaches up and holds it back, before she turns back to her family.

'So… if everything is the same… do you think Bobbie will exist?'

Neither of them answer her for a few seconds, before Sam shrugs, her lips pursing in the way they always do when she's ran out of ideas and is willing to follow Deanna's ridiculous ones. And if Deanna's guessing correctly, she'll shove her hands into her jacket pockets…  _now_.

Sam doesn't disappoint.

With a small smirk to herself, Deanna digs into her pocket, pulling out her cell and checking to see if there's signal in this dimension.

'Thank God.' She sighs when she sees she has a bar, and she starts to flip through her contacts for Bobbie. She can feel Cassie's stare on her, though, so, without looking up, she mutters, 'Seriously, Cassie. You're just bringing it up now?'

She gets no reply. Cassie would've disappeared by now, if they were in their own world. She always disappeared just as Deanna was starting to feel comfortable again; feel safe again. But it seems that she's just as curious as to what's happened that she's not… well, maybe one good thing will come out of this whole ordeal. She'll see Cassie more.

To her surprise, the phone actually rings. Meaning that it's a real number. Maybe things aren't that different after all.

' _Hello?_ ' A gruff male voice answers, and it's certainly  _not_ the voice she was expecting.

'Uh… yeah. Hello.' Deanna responds weakly, and immediately Sam and Cassie know something is wrong. Deanna is  _never_ that quiet and awkward around the woman who's been her mother figure through the years.

' _Who is this?_ '

'Who's this?' She questions, and she hopes that he doesn't hang up. But if it was Bobbie - her Bobbie, Roberta Singer, then yeah, she would've hung up by now.

However, she seems to have caught this… person with Bobbie's number in a good mood, for he replies, ' _Bobby Singer_.'

Deanna pulls the cell away from her ear, a frown etched on her face as she stares at it like it's the most peculiar thing she's ever seen. She can hear this… "Bobby" saying hello a few times before she brings it back up to her ear, ignoring Samantha's questioning gaze.

'Uh… sorry. Wrong number, I think.'

' _You_ ** _think_** _?_ '

'Well,' she bites her lip as she looks amongst her sister and her… the Angel. Things start to click into place, so she tries something. 'You don't happen to know a Deanna Winchester do you?'

There's a pause. A long pause. Like he's doing the same thing Deanna did a few seconds ago. Looking at the phone as if it was lying to him; as if he was hearing things wrong.

' _Uh… no. I know a_ ** _Dean_** _Winchester. Sometimes he can acts like a girl, but that's beside the point_.'

Despite herself, a grin pulls at Deanna's lips.

'Sorry. That's what I meant,' she lies easily. Years in this business had led to her being able to create a lie at the drop of a hat. 'My friend told me about him over the phone, and I guess I picked her up wrong. Is he a hunter?'

The looks on Sam and Cassie's faces are almost funny, but she can't stop now and explain things. She needs to get to the bottom of this.

' _Yeah… why?_ '

Right. Back to the overprotectiveness. Just like Bobbie would be about dishing out information on her or Sam. They were her girls; she didn't give out info that easily.

'I've got a job for him… and his brother. Well, it's more like, I've got a case and need a lot - and I mean a  _lot_ \- of help. Care to tell me where they are? Or give me their number?'

' _I don't know what you've heard from your friend, but my boys don't like working with other hunters._ '

Once again, she finds herself smiling at the use of "my boys". Even though this wasn't  _her_ Bobbie, and he wasn't talking about her or Sam, she couldn't help but feel he  _was._ And in some weird, twisted way, he was.

'Yeah, yeah, I know. Trust me. Neither do I. But this is  _big_. Like… Angel-and-Demon-Apocalypse big.' Deanna declares, knowing full well this will get his interest. If they are like Bobbie and them were, no one knew about the Angels except from them. No one knew about the start of the Apocalypse. Not really anyway. Not for definite. And if he didn't bite, she had one more trick up her sleeve. 'Or locking-Sammy-in-the-Panic-Room-'cause-he's-on-Dem on-blood, big.'

Sammy makes a sound of protest but Deanna holds up a finger, because Bobby is starting to talk again.

' _How do you-?_ '

She knows she's done enough and has surprised him. Normally a threat would've been the reply. But when it's something this big and strange, her Bobbie would find no need for it. Finding answers more important than threats.

'I know a lot of things. Now, tell me where Dean and Sam are so I can  _show_ you how I know this. And before you worry, no I'm not a Demon, or a Shapeshifter. I'm willing to do Holy Water or cut myself with silver if you want. But we  _need_  to talk, all of us, because this is important as hell.'

' _Who the hell are you?_ '

She takes a deep breath and her gaze finds Cassie's instead of Sammy's like it normally does, and she answers, 'Deanna Winchester. I'm standing here with my sister, Samantha Winchester and an Angel that goes by the name of Castiel… or Cassie depending on who's talking. Any of this sounding familiar?'

Deanna doesn't think that Bobby will buy it, because to be honest, she's not sure if  _her_ Bobbie would, but she's crossing her fingers and praying to God, and Cassie even though she's right here, because Cassie is always the one she prays to, and she can see her looking confused as she hears it, but right now, Deanna can't bring herself to care.

' _Too familiar._ ' Is his reply and before Deanna can say anything else, he hangs up on her.

'Son of a  _bitch_!' She hisses and she aches to throw her phone across the field, but she can't, because it's the only connection she's got to these people and she can't stand the idea of being stranded without any way of contact. So, instead she just tightens her hold on it until her knuckles go white.

'Gonna fill us in, Deanna?' Sam question, her voice thick with her displeasure of being kept in the dark for so long. She was nothing but a big know-it-all. Couldn't stand the idea of secrets… unless she was the one keeping them, Deanna thought but didn't let it show.

'That wasn't our Roberta Singer. That was Robert Singer. And he doesn't know Deanna and Samantha Winchester. He knows a Dean and Sam. I think this is what this dimension is… everyone who's a dude in our universe is a gal, and every gal is a dude.'

Sam says nothing for a second, before she lets out a low whistle.

'So, what do we do?'

For a moment, Deanna's at a loss for words, because what the hell do they do? This isn't like dealing with a Vampire or a Shifter, or some stupid-ass Angel who's got something against her for teaching Cassie about Free Will… she shakes her head to clear that thought from her head. Right now, that was the least of her problems.

'Treat it like any other case. So, what would we do first?'

'Find out what we're up against.'

'Exactly. We're up against us. We already know what we'd do, the only difference is these "us" have dicks instead.' She ignore Sam's eye roll, the prude. 'So, we just need to track them…  _us_ … down.'

'Yeah… but Dee… we aren't the easiest to track down, otherwise we'd be in jail, or dead because we got the death penalty. They're not gonna leave paper trails and let's face it, there's always a million cases out there, by the time we find one that would interest us, they'll probably have moved on.'

She always had to take the fun out of it with her realistic goals.

'Well then what do you suggest?'

Unsurprisingly, Deanna gets no answer.

'Just what I thought.'

'What about trying to find Bobby?' Cassie's voice draws them from their thoughts, and for a minute Deanna tries not to think about how she forgot she was there, because she shouldn't have. She should be thankful Cassie is here at all. And has stayed here all this time.

Deanna just stares at Cassie, looking into her blue eyes as Sam starts to rabbit on about how great the idea was, because he was the same as their Bobbie, and he probably owns the dump as Sam and Deanna call it so often, and that it won't be that hard to track down "Singer's Salvage Yard".

Deanna just continues to stare at Cassie as if she can peel away her facade and see how she's really feeling, but before it gets that far - if it could  _ever_ get that far - Sammy is giving her arm a tug and she tears her eyes away from the Angel. A moment later, she feels Cassie's eyes leave her.

'Cassie, you know where Bobbie's is in  _our_ universe, right?' Sam questions and Cassie nods despite that fact she doesn't need to, because it's obvious she knows where it is. She's been there before; she dragged Deanna back there after she beat the crap out of her when she was going to say yes to Michael. 'Well, can you take us there and see what's there? Chances are, if the number's the same, the address is gonna be too.'

Cassie - a woman of few words - says nothing as she steps forward to get closer to them, but Deanna's sure she saw a small smile pull at her lips. It barely graced them before it disappeared, back into the neutral expression she always wore.

Two fingers are placed on Deanna and Sammy's forehead, and soon they're hurtling through time and space with their Angel. Deanna's always wondered if this is what it was like when she got dragged from hell. She remembers bits and pieces of it; a bright white light, the feeling of Cassie's Grace washing over her… she really needs to stop thinking about that. She really needs to stop thinking about Cassie so much, if she was honest.

They land a second or so later, and as Deanna looks around herself, she can't help the big grin that pulls at her lips. This looked exactly like Bobbie's. Things were finally looking up.

'Okay… how do you want to do this?' Sam asks as Deanna takes the initiative and starts walking to the small, rundown house.

However, she stops short when she sees it.

' _Baby_!' She almost sighs, and before she knows it, she's running over to the black, '67 Chevy Impala that was parked out in front of the house. She looks in through the window, noticing how everything looks the same and as she caresses the hood of the car, she realises that if this doesn't work out as well as she hoped, she's going to steal the car.

'You do know what this means, right?' Sam asks, and Deanna doesn't take her eyes off the car but she raises her eyebrow and gives a small hum.

'It means that  _Dean_ and  _Sam_ are here. The Impala is your car, Dee, you don't drive anything else. I don't think he would either.'

This catches Deanna's attention and she finally tears her eyes away from Baby to turn back to her sister.

'Swell.' She mutters before she looks to the door. 'Right, better do it now.'

With a deep breath, she marches over to the door and gives it three sharp knocks; that looks better than just marching in, right?

It takes a few moments, obviously they're not used to visitors, before the door opens.

Deanna's eyes zero in on another pair of bright green eyes that match hers, and she lets out a low whistle as her eyes scan over the his face and body.

' _Damn_.' She turns to look at Sammy with a smirk on her lips. 'Didn't I tell you I always knew I'd make one  _sexy_ man, Sammy?'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deanna, Samantha and Cassie meet the boys.

Samantha just rolls her eyes before looking at her sister's male version, and she can't help but agree with her. Though, she'd never admit that aloud because  _ew._

Deanna turns her gaze away from Sammy and lands back on Dean, who's looking at her like she's gone insane. And she's surprised because you'd think after dealing with Angels, Demons, Lucifer, Michael and all the other shit they've been put through, nothing would surprise them anymore.

'Do I always look this spaced when I'm confused?' She mutters as she gives him the once over again, then looks over his shoulder to see the two men standing behind him.

'What the hell are you talking about?' Dean finally questions and Deanna tears her eyes away from the other men, landing back onto her male version.

'My name is Deanna Winchester. This is my sister Sam and the Angel that pulled me from hell, Castiel.' She gestures to each of them as she speaks, and watches as his expression grows more confused and bewildered as the seconds tick on. Then it finally gets to the expression that Samantha has seen on Deanna so often; the one she's dubbed "this-is-freaky-even-for-us-but-I-don't-care-you'r e-not-gonna-hurt-my-family".

'It looks like we've crossed dimensions and ended up in your world.'

Dean just quirks an eyebrow as his eyes dart between the three women in front of them. Sure… they kinda look like them; if they were chicks that is. And yeah, they've got the names right, not many people know about Castiel. But come on! How the hell can they be them? That was crazy, even for their standards.

'You don't believe us. I can see that. That's my "I-don't-buy-this-bullshit" face. But tell me, have you been to a world where you were nothing but actors on a show, and Sam was married to the one that looks like the Demon that fed him blood? That dick Balthazar sent us there because Cas told him to. Bloody one of Raphael's henchmen chased our asses through that place.'

Deanna doesn't know why she's rambling on so much, seeing as she doesn't telling strangers anything. But they weren't strangers. They were them, and they just needed to work together so they could get home. Sure, this place wasn't that bad but it wasn't  _her_ home.

'How…?' Sam - male Sam - questions as he walks up behind his brother, having been listening into the conversation from a distance. But at this revelation, he clearly needs to play a part in this.

'Look it doesn't matter how.' Deanna snaps finally having enough with how they're acting with her. Even though some part of her understands  _why_ they're acting like that. Hell, some dude turned up at her door saying they were the male equivalent of her, and knew all their dirty little secrets, then yeah, she'd be tempted to either slam the door, or drag the man inside and carve chunks out of him until they got the truth; the real truth, because the male equivalent of her was  _not_ the real truth.

So, with this in mind she takes a deep breath.

'Look. We know everything you do. All about me breaking the first seal, and Sam breaking the last; about Castiel rebelling against Heaven because of us. I know it all. Trust me. We are real and so is our world; just as real as yours.'

They still don't look like they believe them. Even with all the information that they would have  _no idea_ of knowing if they weren't telling the truth.

'So that meant that Zachariah sent you to the future with the Croatoan virus?'

Deanna tenses at the mention of that world, finding herself disgusted with the way her future self acted. Sacrificing friends and family; forgetting about Sammy. But despite this, she knew that Dean was asking this, because he was looking for a reason to trust her; and she needed him to trust her.

So, she nods her head. One, barely-there nod but it's enough to make Dean do the same.

'Right. I'll believe you… if you tell me what freaked you out the most about that universe.' He says and Deanna just looks at him, because how will this help? But it's what he wants to know, so she's got to give him the answer.

But what answer? There were many things that freaked her out. Her future self, the Croats, Sammy being possessed by bloody  _Lucifer_. But she has to admit, there was only one thing that she felt she  _needed_ to change. One thing that she needed to warn against; so it could  _never_ happen.

'Castiel. The drugs; the orgies; everything about her freaked me out. I kept telling her to take the stick out her ass, but after that, I haven't said it once.' She declares, stopping herself from adding more:  _I don't want her to change. She's changed too much already. I can't lose her; not like that._

Dean studies her for a long moment, his green eyes dancing over her face and she does the same. She can feel Sammy staring at her; can feel Cassie staring at her, but she doesn't turn away from Dean. Not until she sees that small, easily missed nod that showed her he believed her. That was when she lowered her eyes to her feet and lets out a shaky breath. She hadn't even realised she was holding her breath.

He stands aside and without a second thought, Deanna walks in, followed closely by Sam - both of them - and Cassie. She hears Dean close the door before his boots scuff as he follows them through.

'You must be Bobby?' Deanna questions the minute she sees him sitting behind his desk. 'Have to admit, you're not what I imagined my Bobbie to look like as a dude. Much more scruffy.'

She grins and throws herself down on the couch by the window. Samantha gives her a look, telling her that she shouldn't be making herself at home so easily, but Deanna ignores it, because she knows she past their test. Sure, they don't necessarily trust her but they're willing to listen and tolerate.

'Not that she looks like a fairy princess.' She adds as Sammy sits down beside her and Deanna turns to grin at her.

'I still don't know what's happening.' Bobby ends up saying, just looking at the three girls that act so like his boys… he's seen pretty weird stuff in his life, but this was too bloody much, even for him.

'Neither do we. We were hoping you'd hit the books and tell us.' Deanna mutters as her eyes scan around the room, but her eyes land on Bobby again and when she notices the look on his face, she hastily adds, 'We'll help.'

'From what I can tell, no spell has been involved.' Cassie speaks up and Deanna looks up at her with a small frown, which deepens when she sees the way Dean is looking at her. He shouldn't be looking at  _her_ Castiel like that. If he wants to ogle someone, call his own damn Angel!

'Where's your Castiel? Maybe two Angels would be better than one at sorting this mess out?' She hisses and as she looks around to Sammy, Deanna can see her holding back her smirk. 'No offence, Cassie.'

'I would, but he doesn't answer prayers that often anymore. Got a lot of trouble up in Heaven, you see.' Dean states and if Deanna weren't so used to it, she would've missed the tightness in his voice. Turns out she's not the only one missing the Angel that pulled them from Hell.

Deanna opens her mouth to tell him that she's the same, that she knows Castiel has a lot of problems up in Heaven, but that she doesn't feel relaxed because she doesn't know where her Angel is. But she doesn't, because Cassie is still in the room, and so is Sam - both of them - and Bobby, and it's embarrassing admitting to herself that the Angel has worked her way into Deanna's heart and isn't for budging; she's not going to do it to anyone else.

But as these thoughts run through her mind, she hears the flutter of wings and she looks up in time to see Cassie disappear into thin air.

'Well, that's the longest she's stayed in ages. It was bound to happen.' Deanna mutters dejectedly, hoping no one can hear it. But of course they can. One of them is just her, and the other three are so used to her - whether it's her male form or not - that of course they notice. But like always, they don't say anything, they just stare at her with that bloody look that makes her want to gouge their eyes out.

However, before she can go and start raking the fridge for a beer, the sound of wings fills the room again and she looks up to see Cassie standing beside another man. He's dressed like her; the dirty trenchcoat, the suit and even the askew tie. Deanna had told Cassie repeatedly that women don't wear ties but she didn't listen. On one occasion - a very rare one - she told Deanna that she liked the way it looked.

His hair was the same colour, but shorter and sticking up every way possible.

Despite all of that, what caught Deanna's attention were those  _eyes_. Just like Cassie's. Bright blue and unyielding. Like they were staring into her soul. Sometimes she believed they were; that Cassie was studying the soul she left her mark on.

' _This_ you show up for?' Sam questions, his eyes staring at Castiel in almost disbelief. Deanna tears her eyes of the man and looks over to Dean, seeing how he's just staring at him in wonder. And Deanna's almost rolls her eyes at the sight, but she doesn't, because she  _knows_ that's the stupid and pathetic look she gives Cassie every time she shows up recently.

'This is important. Crossing over a realm is dangerous; bumping into your other self can be catastrophic.'

'Awesome, you're a little ray of sunshine in this world as well.' Deanna mutters as she stands from the couch and decides she's had enough. She needs that beer now.

She wanders to the fridge, pulling the door open and pulling out the first bottle that she sees; she smirks when she realises it's the same brand that Bobbie gets them. She pulls the cap off and turns back to the small gathering. She was starting to understand Samantha's strong desire to be "normal". Shit like this was too far.

'Hope you don't mind.' She says to Bobby as she sits back down, waving the bottle at him just to make sure he knows what she means. Apparently he does, for he rolls his eyes at her and grumbles under his breath for a moment.

'So, Trenchcoat Team… any idea how to get us back to our realm or whatever? Seeing as it's so bloody dangerous.' Deanna quips before she raises the bottle to her lips and takes her first gulp. God, she needed that.

'Yeah, apparently we're on a ticking time bomb here, so why don't you just vamoose them back to their world before ours implodes?' Dean adds and Deanna smirks, glad her male version was just as sarcastic as she was.

'It's more complicated than that.' Cas speaks up and Deanna grinds her teeth together; it was easier to get angry at the Angel she didn't know. She could feel less guilty about it because  _he_ wasn't the one to haul her from the Pit.

'Of course it is, our lives are never easy.'

'So… what do we do? We can stay here forever.' Samantha states, crossing her arms over her chest and looking between the two Angels for answers.

'And how is it so dangerous? Things seem all right; they're not trying to kill us or anything; they're just us. Why can't you send them back?'

'It's not that we  _can't_ send us back,' Cassie speaks up as she turns to the male version of Sam, studying him with those blue eyes. 'But without knowing how we ended up here, there is no point. There is obviously a tear of some sort, that needs repairing before we go back.'

The five of them continue to stare at the Angels.

'If we send you back now, there is a good chance that you'll end up here again at some point.' Cas adds and their eyes drift from Cassie to him. 'But the danger is, because the tear is still unfixed, more people could get sucked through it. People who are not used to the supernatural. That's where the danger sets in.'

'Or Raphael could even come through; then we'd have two to deal with. Bobbie, Joe, Ian they could stumble through as well. Even Crowley.' Cassie mutters and even though Deanna would love to see them, she can't help but see the problem. It'd be hard to send the three of them back, never mind all of them. Then the people they didn't know that could get sucked through.

'Holy shit.' Dean mutters and Deanna just nods her head.

'You took the words straight from my mouth, Dean.' She declares before she sits the nearly empty bottle of beer on the table and stands up.

She walks over to stand in front of Cassie.

'Right, so what you're saying is there is a tear in time somewhere, and until it's sewn back up, more people could come stumbling through it? Good people, bad people and even normal people?'

'Yes.'

'Oh.' Deanna nods her head before looking around herself. 'Well, that's just awesome.'

She turns away, picking up the bottle of beer and taking another gulp, finishing the bottle. She looks at it with a frown before she looks back to the fridge.

'I need another.' She declares and as she walks back through to the kitchen to do that, she hears someone follow her.

'Same here.' She hears Dean mutter and she pulls one out and hands it to him, before removing the cap on her own. She leans against the counter and looks through to the others, who were still chatting away on how to stop it or how to get back or what to do if someone comes through it.

'Think we should be listening?' Deanna questions as she points her beer bottle at them.

'Probably.' Dean replies before raising his bottle to his lips. He moves over to lean against the counter beside Deanna, both of them staring at the little gathering with tiny frowns on their faces.

'Y'know, it's the first time I've seen her in… three weeks.'

Dean hums, and she knows it means he's the same. He hasn't seen Cas in a long time either.

'So, is Raphael still a dude through here? Like Balthazar and Lucifer?'

'Yeah… is your Balthazar a British dude?'

'Yeah. He's a pompous ass.' Deanna smirks, and then chuckles when Dean does. 'Don't you think it's weird that some people in our universe have stayed the same, but yet some have changed completely? I mean, why are we different genders but they aren't? I just… how does it work?'

'Well, before I thought God just didn't care.'

'And now?' Deanna questions, turning her head to look at him.

'Now? He's a crackpot who doesn't care.' He answers and Deanna chuckles as she raises her bottle to her lips again.

'I think you're right there, Dean.'

Dean goes to answer, but the ringing of a phone cuts him off. With a small frown, everyone looks around themselves, until Deanna realises that it's  _her_ phone that's ringing. She sets her bottle onto the counter behind her before fishing her cell from her pocket, glad that she didn't hurl it away like she wanted to.

'Hello?' She greets, curious as to who would be phoning her and how it went through. She tried Bobbie's and got this place. Surely it would be the same… unless it was someone from her world that was calling her. But that would mean…

Her suspicions are confirmed when the other end of the call answers her.

Her hand tightens around her phone and she's not sure whether to smile or to be in shock. But as the other voice keep repeating the word "hello", she realises she's said nothing for a good few seconds.

After biting her lip, her eyes find Samantha, and the next word out her mouth shocks everyone to their core, and makes them realise that both the Angels were right; this was going to cause nothing but trouble.

Deanna clears her throat.

'Bobbie?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobbie arrives. They get tiny lead. Dean and Deanna have a heart-to-heart. Well, sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little iffy about the end, but I hope you think it's okay!

Deanna turns to Cassie straight away, and she doesn't even say anything, but Cassie nods her head and with a flutter of her wings, she disappears.

'Bobbie, Cassie should be with you? Is she? Bobbie?'

'I'm standing right here, you idjit.' Bobbie says and Deanna's head whips around to look at her, a wide smile breaking on her face at seeing Bobbie again;  _her_ Bobbie. She's tempted to hug her but then she realises that Bobbie wouldn't like that, and well, she's only been gone for… not even a day, and she's been away from Bobbie for longer.

But it feels like they've been here for years. Maybe that's why she's tempted to give her a big hug… but Deanna knows better, so she doesn't.

'So, does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?' Bobbie questions, looking around herself and when her eyes land on the scruffy looking man sitting behind what should be  _her_ desk, her eyebrow raises.

'How did you get here, Bobbie?' Deanna questions, pulling the older woman away from her male form.

'Uh, no idea,' she retorts, looking around the room like it was the craziest thing she has ever seen. 'One minute I was giving a hunter advice on how to deal with a Wendigo, went to get a beer, ended up here.'

'But that's nowhere near where we crossed. We were tracking a Vampire's nest in Missouri; how the hell is this "tear" working?' Samantha asks and as she looks around the room, she sees everyone looking puzzled, except her sister and their Angel, who were staring at each other; staring at each other in that way that makes Sam feel like she's interrupting something. An unspoken conversation - or declaration of love - whatever.

'You two got an idea?' She questions and watches as Deanna blinks and tears her eyes away from Cassie, moving her gaze onto Sam.

'Sort of. Did she land in the same place?' Deanna turns back to Cassie.

Cassie nods once, 'Yes.'

'So the cross point isn't the same, but the destination is? What does that mean?' Sam wonders aloud and Deanna turns to look at him, raising her eyebrow because she was sure that's what her sister was about to ask.

'That we need to have a look at this field again.' Deanna murmurs turning back to Cassie with a small smile on her face. Without saying another word, Cassie walks forward and grabs Deanna's hand, before grabbing ahold of Sammy, who in turn grabbed Bobbie before she could protest.

There was a fluter of wings, then they were gone.

'We following or…?' Sam looks around himself, trying to get an answer because he can't decide if he wants to follow these women, or get as far away from them as possible… huh, now he knew how other people felt about  _them_.

'Probably. But I ain't holding your hand.' Bobby mutters as he stands from the seat behind his desk and walks over to stand beside the boys.

'C'mon, Cas, do your magic.' Dean grins but it falls from his face when he's literally flying at Angel speed, and once again he feels sick. Always feels sick when Cas does this and wishes that he didn't  _have_ to do it. He hated flying in aeroplanes; he hated flying with Cas. Safety was driving Baby. That was safe. Even when they were crashed into by a  _truck_ it was safe.

'Any chance you've found out why everyone lands here already?' Dean smirks but is just answered by an eye roll from Deanna, and wow, does he always look that sick fed up when someone - that isn't him - makes a sarcastic comment?

'Yeah, 'cause our  _years_ of bad luck has just decided to run out.'

'Castiel and I will scan the area.' Cassie declares and with a rustle of wings, both Cas and her disappear.

'Is there a reason we came here if they were just going to do it themselves?' Bobbie grumbles, because yeah, she's still a hunter, but she hardly hunts anymore. She does the research, she answers the phone calls, pretending to by FBI, State Police, Ranger, whatever the hell the younger hunters need, she'll give them it. She was at home in her library now; only rare occasions caught her out on a real hunt, and most of them were because Deanna and Sammy  _really_ needed the extra help.

Deanna thinks about saying something witty in reply, but before she can she can hear the wings, then she can feel Cassie, standing too close to her that she can feel the heat off her body and her trench coat is brushing against Deanna's leg. But she's not going to complain like she normally does; she'd take this closeness any day. Better than not seeing Cassie for  _weeks_ on end.

'See anything?' Sammy asks.

Deanna finally turns to look at Cassie and just sees her shake her head briefly.

'There is no tear like we thought.' Cas speaks and Deanna sees that he's standing as close to Dean, and just like Deanna, Dean's making no move to step away from him. Her eyes catch Dean's and she gives a small smirk.

'But there clearly is, otherwise they wouldn't be here.' Dean says just so he can look away from Deanna and that stupid smirk that she's wearing. She's got a cheek to talk, she's the one that looks like she's ready to take Cassie's hand.

'Well… what if it's a random thing?' Sam offers. When everyone turns to look at him, he elaborates, 'It's not always open, but when it does it opens here and anyone can walk through it, but it can close again whenever it wants.'

Deanna nods her head and gives Dean a small nod of appreciation. Just as smart as her Sammy.

'It would certainly explain why it is not here at the moment, and why we could not see it.' Cassie slowly nods and Deanna gives Samantha a wide grin.

'I think he's smarter than you, Sammy.' She quips as she finally takes a small step away from Cassie, and she sees how Cassie gives a small frown but Deanna doesn't think on it, because she knows if she does, nothing good can come of it.

'How can he be smarter than me? He  _is_ me!' Sammy retorts, glaring at her sister before casting a glance at Sam who was looking at her in interest. 'You know, in someway he is me.'

'So, let me get this straight,' Dean interrupts the joking between the two sisters, and Deanna notices that he too had put more distance between him and his Angel. She wants to smirk at it, probably would if it was anyone else, but it just reminds her that even as a dude she can't come to grips with how she feels about Castiel.

She shakes her head minutely as Dean continues, 'We've got some random tear in time that just opens whenever the hell it wants to, and spits people out in the  _random_ field, where they probably exist but as a dude? Or a gal if they're already a dude.' He adds as a second thought.

His eyes turn to Cas who's looking the same way he always does, unlike the rest of them, who're all freaking out about this predicament. Does the guy  _ever_ get weirded out?

'Yes.' Cas answers and Dean gives a unamused smile.

' _Awesome_.'

'Yeah, there's nothing better than chasing our asses around in circles 'cause we don't have a clue about what we're hunting.'

'Exactly.' Dean confirms, sending Deanna a small smirk of approval at that before turning back to Cas.

'Look, if there's nothing of interest, why are we still standing here?' Bobby asks and Deanna gives a smirk at the familiar drawl but in a masculine tone. 'Might as well and go back, do some research, we might be able to work out when this will open. Maybe it's random, maybe it ain't, but we need to figure it out.'

Without waiting for instructions, Cassie steps forward and grabs Deanna and Sam's hand, and waits until Sam has grabbed ahold of Bobbie before taking them back to Bobby's.

A second later, the boys landed.

 

 

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

Bobby and Bobbie were quick to sort through the books, handing each of them two books at least, making them sit down and read them, cover to cover until they got their heads around what was happening; to see if it had ever happened before.

Deanna had hoped for a split second that Cassie was going to be staying, but as soon as they had brought everyone back, both Cas and Cassie turned around and said they would do their own research, but be back later. Before Deanna, or Dean, because he looked as disappointed as Deanna felt, could protest, the sound of wings filled the air and they were gone.

Deanna got a beer after that to stop herself from grumbling or pouting and sat down with one of the three books Bobbie handed her.

But about an hour after that, she couldn't stand being in here anymore. Not sure why, she just needed to get away because, sure, Bobbie was here, and Sammy, but there was one person that  _should_  be here that wasn't, and just being in a crowded room was the last thing she needed.

So, she stood from her chair, gathered her books and grabbed a fresh bottle of beer from the fridge before heading outside.

She sits down behind the great big tree that she used to sit at when she was hiding from her dad. She very rarely did it, always keen to fulfil his orders, but when Bobbie said she was going to take her to the park and Dad said no, that's when she'd run and hide; unable to choose between Bobbie and Dad. Afraid of disappointing one or causing another fight.

She slides down the bark and sets the bottle in between her thighs before opening the book at where she left it. But a moment later, she hears the soft patter of boots hitting the grass, and she realises that someone is following her. If it's Sammy, she's going to kill her.

But as she looks up, she comes face to face with Dean and she frowns. He says nothing as he sits down beside her, following her example of placing the beer between his thighs before he turns to her with a raised eyebrow.

'What?'

He gives a half smirk before turning away for a second, then speaking, 'You look exactly like my mom. Well, our mom. When she was young.'

She sets the book aside and turns her head to the side, running a hand through her blonde hair.

'Take it you've been back in time too? Told by Castiel to "stop it"? But you couldn't stop it. I wanted to break her neck then; all that pain, watching  _why_ she did it, who got caught in the crossfire, then being told I couldn't stop it. I don't think I talked to her for a week after that.' She mutters softly, turning back to him and biting her lip.

She doesn't say a word to agree with him on whether she looks like Mary, because she already knows it; been told by John when she was young that she looked like Mary. And after seeing her in real life, knowing her and trying to save her from Yellow-Eyes, she knew that she was pretty much her mother's image. But she couldn't talk about her. Not even to someone who  _was_ her just as a man.

He gives a chuckle, 'He was a pain in the ass at the beginning.'

'"At the beginning"? She's still a pain in the ass now.' Deanna grumbles. So, she was unwilling to talk about her mother, but completely willing to talk feelings about her Angel? Yeah. That made sense.

Dean says nothing, just raising his bottle of beer to his lips and taking a sip, but Deanna knows he agrees with her. Knows that it's not because of the way she acts that she's a pain in the ass, and it's nice to be talking to Dean because in the end, he's had these thoughts, knows what she's thinking so she doesn't have to  _say_ it. That's why she couldn't talk to Sammy, because she'd have to explain herself and that'd mean admitting it aloud, and if she admitted it aloud, that would make it true. She was much happier to live in her own little world of denial, thank you very much.

'Do you ever find yourself missing the black-and-whiteness of Hell? There was getting pain and giving pain, nothing else. No blurred lines, no mixed feelings, hell, there weren't  _any_ feelings for the person you tortured, no questions. Just, dishing out the pain so you didn't have to get it. I'd never tell Sammy or Bobbie or Cassie - though I'm sure she's seen it in my mind - but there are times I think that Hell was…' She trails off because she can't finish the sentence and finds it even harder to think that's she saying this  _at all_.

'Simpler.' Dean finishes though and she turns her head back to him, taking her eyes off the rim of her bottle to look into his eyes and she smiles softly.

'Yeah.' She nods, raising the bottle to her lips. 'Simpler.' She agrees before taking a sip of her beer and turning her attention back to the books on her lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another mini breakthrough and another familiar face.

'This hole, it is not as random as we thought. Someone is controlling it.' Cas declares the minute he and Cassie appear in the room, and they both look around themselves, and notice two people missing.

'Where is Dean?'

'And Deanna?'

Sam and Samantha share a look before they look pointedly out the window, where Dean and Deanna are sat, shoulders pressed together, their books lying on the grass completely forgotten.

As if sensing someone's gazes on them, both Dean and Deanna fall silent and turn to see the two Angels staring at them from the window.

'I think they want to tell us something.' Deanna mutters as she pulls herself from the ground, empty bottle in her hand. She reaches down and picks the book up before turning to Dean and extending her hand. He looks at it for a moment, as if judging it, and she chuckles, 'I don't bite, you idiot. Mind you, seeing as you're me, you're probably into that.'

'Shut up.' He quips as he grabs ahold of her hand and allows her to help him up. He picks up his book as well before they head back to the house.

'What were you two doing?' Sammy questions the minute they make their way into the library, and Deanna just rolls her eyes and she throws the empty bottle of beer into the trashcan.

'Bonding.' She replies as she places her book on the table and then grabs Dean's from his hands. 'Y'know, sharing thoughts and feelings; talking 'bout Hell. The usual stuff you do when you meet yourself as a dude.' She turns and fixes her green eyes on her sister. 'What the hell do you think, Sammy? We were talking the case!'

Deanna turns away from Samantha to look at Cassie.

'And I'm guessing that's the reason you've turned up, so, what is it?'

'This hole, it is not random. Someone is controlling it.' Cassie repeats and both Dean and Deanna frown.

'Who?' Dean questions.

'We're not sure. Whoever this is, they don't want to be found.' Cas answers as his blue eyes flicker between Dean and Deanna, a small frown on his face. 'And they're powerful.'

'I thought that, seeing as they can freaking bend dimensions!' Deanna retorts with just a smidgen of more venom than she intended. Her eyes find Cassie, and whilst it wasn't her Deanna snapped at, she still had a look on her face as if it was. And Deanna guesses, in some fucked up way that is their life, she  _technically_ did. 'I mean… yeah.'

'So, who could work that amount of magic?' Sam questions, saving Deanna from the tiny blush that was heating up her cheeks.

'Angels and some Demons.'

'Well, I guess all the Angels could've done it, seeing as they all hate us.' Samantha thinks aloud and Deanna scoffs.

'Same goes for the Demons. Everyone hates us, this isn't narrowing it down at all.' Deanna hisses before she turns away from Cassie's blue stare, but even then, she can still feel her stare burning holes in her back and she sighs. Deanna turns back and her green eyes clash with Cassie's blue ones.

Despite how painfully aware she is that their situation is completely fucked up, and even for them it's crazy, it's nice to see the familiar gaze; the one that grounds her.

She swallows hard, shaking her head minutely.

_Don't think anything. Don't think anything. Don't think anything._

'So, do we have any leads? Any idea who's the most likely?'

It doesn't take them long before they're rattling off names, but every single one of them ends with them deciding against it. Either they're not powerful enough or just not angry enough. And just when they're ready to pull their hair out because they have  _no fucking idea_ who the hell would do such a thing, another voice interrupts their thoughts.

'I didn't even get a mention? I'm a little upset.' A deep yet feminine voices declares and they whip their heads around, Dean and Deanna going straight for their pistols but Deanna clenches her jaw and lowers her gun as soon as she sees who it is.

Dean continues to point his at the woman, taking in her black hair in a fancy bun, those bright red lips and the short, black dress that she wears.

Crowley smirks, those painted red lips pulling into a crooked smirk.

'Hello, girls.'

'Crowley? I should've known. This smells exactly like something you'd do.' Samantha says, moving forward to stand beside Deanna, a glare on her face as she stares at the Demon in front of them.

'Me? I'm not doing this.' Crowley declares. 'I'm just offended that you didn't even think of me. I mean, there was once a time when you were blaming me for everything! Now I don't even get mentioned?'

Deanna rolls her eyes before she pockets her gun again and turns away for a moment, before she turns back to Crowley with a shake of her head.

'So, if you're not doing this, why are you here? Something tells me you didn't just wander through it like the rest of us.'

'No, I came here to see you; to help you.' Crowley admits, and when she notices the dubious looks on everyone's faces, her smirk widens. She takes a step forward, her black heels clicking against the hard wooden floor. 'Funny old world, I know, but it's the truth.'

'Like I would believe a word that comes out of your mouth.' Deanna hisses, but before Crowley can respond, Dean finally seems to have enough and snaps.

'Wait a minute! This is  _Crowley_? English, King of the Crossroads; King of Hell, Crowley?'

'Well, technically, I'm the  _Queen_ of Hell, but tomato, tomatoe.' She takes another couple of steps forward, veering away from Deanna and heading towards Dean. 'May I say, Deanna, you look stunning as you are, but positively breathtaking as a man.'

'Screw you.' Deanna retorts, reaching up to run a hand through her blonde hair.

'Oh honey, you know you would.'

Deanna grimaces. 'Ew, no I wouldn't.'

Crowley takes a step back from Dean, looking him up and down, drinking him in before she turns her head to Deanna and gives her a wink.

'Now, girls… and boys, I've got places to be, but trust me when I say I'll be back with news.'

Without another word, Crowley disappears.

Deanna blinks, 'Son of a  _bitch_.'

'Seriously, that was your Crowley?' Dean questions and Deanna sends him a small nod. 'Wow. She's  _smoking_.'

Deanna had turned away from Dean, turning her gaze back to Cassie to ask her if she could go after Crowley, but after that comment, she turns back and raises her eyebrow. She says nothing, just studies him with her green eyes that are like his own. He clears his throat and looks away from her, reaching up to scratch the back of his head.

'You sure this is me?' Deanna questions as she looks around herself, her eyes finding the familiar sights of Bobbie, Cassie and Sammy, before her eyes land on the not-so-familiar-but-familiar faces of Bobby and Sam. 'Crushing on a Demon? Isn't that supposed to be Sam's gig?' She retorts as her eyes find Dean again, who has a faint blush colouring his cheeks and Deanna can't help but grin.

'Shut up.' Dean says as Sam and Sammy exclaim, 'Oi!'

Deanna turns back to Cassie with a bigger grin on her face, 'Gonna go after her Cassie?'

Cassie nods, her blue eyes flickering over Deanna's body, almost as if measuring her, making sure everything was okay before she disappeared into thin air.

'I'll track down Crowley from our realm as well. Maybe he will know something too.' Cas declares before he too vanishes and when the room no longer contains any Angels, Deanna lets out a small sigh.

'Do you ever wonder why this shit always happens to us?' She questions but no one answers her. She hadn't expected anyone to answer, because she knows they don't have the answer. After all, if someone  _did_ have the answer, she was sure she'd do everything to avoid this kind of crazy. They idea of hunting Wendigos and Ghosts seems so far away; when there wasn't a damn Apocalypse looming over their head; running from Demons, Angels, Lucifer, Michael and every other stupid fucking thing that seems to just laser in on the Winchesters. Screw their stupid family curse.

A moment later, the faint fluttering sound alerts them to fact that Cas and Cassie were back, with two disgruntled looking Demons hanging off each arm.

'I  _did_  say I'd be back. Couldn't wait?' Crowley taunts and Deanna just rolls her eyes at her. Deanna's eyes then land on Cas, who's holding a man by the neck of his suit's jacket.

 _And this must be their Crowley._ She thinks, and then she frowns slightly, because Jesus, this was going to get confusing.

He was short, but then again, so was her Crowley. And just like her Crowley, he had dark hair and was dressed in all black, even down to his crisp shirt and patterned tie.

Deanna's eyes flicker between her female Crowley and their male Crowley, and she has to admit, she can see the likeness.

Nothing else is said as Cas and Cassie drag them both over and with a small shove, let them go. Deanna raises her eyes to the ceiling and notices the Devil's Trap and she smirks. They were trapped.

'It was a rather pressing matter.' Dean declares as he makes a move until he's standing on the edge of the Trap and whilst his gaze is trained on his Crowley, his eyes keep flickering over to the female version every now and then.

'We want to go back, Crowley, tell us what you know now, or so help me God.' Samantha growls, moving from the sidelines and coming to stand beside Dean, who notices that she's  _still_ taller than him; even as a chick his brother still has two inches on him. There was something wrong about that. But then, their whole lives were wrong, so it shouldn't really bother him as much as it does.

'Amazing. You  _still_  look like a moose, Jolly Green.' Male Crowley quips and Sam clenches his jaw, but says nothing and makes no move to do anything. Maybe he's learnt his lesson not to rise to the Demon.

'Stow it, Crowley. Just tell us what you know.' Dean orders, and when Deanna notices the way her Crowley is looking she adds, 'Both of you. You're not getting out until  _both of you_  share information on this situation.'

Crowley stops examining her nails with a small sigh and walks over until she's standing in front of Deanna, well, as far as the Devil's Trap would allow anyway.

'It isn't us controlling it, Dee, I assure you of that. But we do know who  _is_ controlling it.'

'Or at least, we can find out for you.' Male Crowley jumps in, and for the first time since she had given him the once over, Deanna turns her eyes onto him. She looks him over again, finally getting a better look at him when he's not being manhandled by an Angel and she finds herself chuckling.

She feels everyone's eyes on her, but her eyes find Dean's straight away instead. He quirks a questioning eyebrow at her and she shrugs.

'You say  _my_ Crowley is hot… well, it's starting to work both ways.'

It takes a second before the words sink it, and when they do, Dean grimaces.

'Thought you had better taste.'

'So did I.'

'Guys!' Sam and Samantha snap at the same time, and both Dean and Deanna whip their heads around to look at their younger siblings, before swallowing hard at the expressions on their faces. 'Can we stick to the problem at hand?' Samantha elaborates, and Deanna reluctantly nods her head and turns back to the pair of Crowley's in the Devil Trap.

'Who is doing this to us, Crowley?' She growls. 'I want an answer, and none of this, sell-your-soul-for-a-deal-to-find-out crap, just  _tell_ us, or I'll kill you.'

There is a beat of silence as Deanna stares down her Crowley, but then it is broken by Dean's Crowley who just chuckles.

'She's  _adorable_.' He mutters and Deanna throws her hands up in the air before turning away and heading to the kitchen. She opens the fridge and pulls a bottle of beer out, before she makes her way back to the crowded room. The sight stops her still, bottle half raised to her lips.

Cassie has her sword at Crowley's throat - the male version's throat anyway. She's grabbing ahold of his collar and digs the tip into the soft flesh of his neck.

'Answer Deanna's question.'

'Well, aren't you an over-protective little Angel; don't tell me you've done what my two idiots can't?' Crowley smirks. Cassie digs the tip in deeper, nicking the skin and Crowley hisses. 'On the defensive? I'm guessing the answer to that is "no" then.'

Another nick. Another hiss.

'Look, I don't  _know_ who's doing it. Not exactly.'

'What does that mean, "not exactly"?'

Deanna's Crowley sighs, her heels the only sound as she makes her way over to stand beside her male form. Her eyes find Deanna's. 'Call of your Angel, darling, then we'll talk.'

Deanna swallows when she calls Cassie "hers" but she walks over and places a hand on the Angel's shoulder nonetheless.

'Come on, Cassie, calm down.'

After a moment, Cassie takes a breath and thrust Crowley away from her, sneering at the man before she takes a step back, pulling Deanna with her. Her blue eyes then find Deanna's green ones, and it's all Deanna can do not to wrap her arms around her or doing something else, so instead, she just sends her a gentle smile and turns back to Crowley, an expectant look on her face.

'It's just some Demon trying to get you out the way so you can't fight the Apocalypse. Either that or trapping you here so that when they offer to bring you back, it comes with the cost of Samantha saying yes.' Crowley explains. 'I don't have a name.  _We_ don't have a name. But whilst they're powerful, they're not really good.'

'Not good? How can they not be good? They managed to send them to another universe!'

Crowley takes a deep breath in and purses her lips. She closes her eyes before she releases the breath she had been holding. When she opens them, she still looks like she's ready to murder someone, but like she can control the desire.

'Because, you idiot, they sent them to the universe where they still exist; just as men! They had no idea how to control destination. And let's face it, if you want to lose this little Team Free Will so they're not a nuisance, you don't send them to the realm where they can help their male halves stop the freaking Apocalypse.' Crowley's voice raises in loudness and bitterness until she's shouting at the end, and Deanna finds herself wincing, because Goddammit, she does that often and her voice is just grating when she starts shouting.

Crowley takes another deep breath, lets it out and when she speaks, her voice is much calmer. Though, she  _still_ looks like she's ready to murder someone.

'Now, are you going to let us out so we can put our feelers out; to see if we can actually get a name?'

'Why should we trust you to find out the name?' Samantha questions and whilst Deanna is already moving to get a knife to break the trap, she can't help but think her sister has a point. She stops when she gets to the side of the Devil's Trap again, and looks at both Crowley's expectantly. When they both realise they're not getting out until they answer the moose's question, they roll their eyes.

'Look, we've established I want Lucifer dead and gone, and it's a little hard for him to end up dead, if the only people who can do it are stuck in a different realm with no chance of getting back.' Crowley answers, her red lips flickering into a small frown before they immediately pull into a smirk as soon as they realise.

It's a good enough answer, apparently, for with a small flick of her wrist, Deanna sends the knife hurtling upwards, where it lodges in the ceiling, breaking the circle of the Trap.

Both Crowley's walk from the Trap, leaving the circle that entrapped them with happy sighs and small stretches. They both walk until they are clear, and everyone thinks for a second that they are maybe going to stick around for a while - something no one wants. But luckily, male Crowley disappears after a small, 'See you later, boys.'

Deanna's Crowley lingers just a minute longer, turning to Deanna with a crooked smirk on her painted lips. She saunters up until she's standing in front of Deanna, only an inch or so between them, and whilst every instinct is telling the hunter to put space between them or better yet, kill the Demon, she stays put, standing her ground and staring down into those brown eyes with her own narrowed.

'You're going to have to learn to get used to being in the same room without trying to kill me, Deanna, and we all know you can do it, sweetheart.' Crowley murmurs, and her breath fans over Deanna's face. 'But for now, here is something to tide you over, almost a carrot to that non-existent stick; you can go back to hating me the second we get home, darling.'

And after blowing a kiss and sending a wink to Deanna, Crowley disappears into thin air as well, leaving Deanna looking around herself with a frown on her face, her face heating up at the stares that every  _single_ person in the room was giving her.

'I'm going back out to sit at the tree.' She mumbles, before she grabs the bottle of beer that she had deposited on the table and heads outside. She slumps against the tree and raises the bottle to her lips. A moment later, a small gust of wind comes from nowhere; she doesn't need to look up, knows who it is already.

'Sit down, Cassie.' She orders and she feels, more than sees, Cassie sit down beside her, her trench coat brushing against Deanna's leg and hand as she does.

They say nothing after that, and just sit in each other's company until the air gets too cool and Deanna's head is lolling to the side, resting on Cassie's shoulder as sleeps starts to overcome her. Cassie carries her; flies her back into the library where they receive looks from the others, but no one says anything as Cassie places her on the couch.

Deanna's hand catches Cassie's tie, 'Stay,' she mumbles before her hand goes lax as sleep finally overcomes her and she loses her hold on the tie.

And either no one but the Angel heard her quiet murmur, or they just didn't find it worth mentioning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Samantha bond. They get to talk about their problems. FINALLY!!

It doesn't take long for Dean to head to his bed; not after Deanna is placed on the couch by the Angel. Sure, a part of him still wants to sit up and find away to send the girl version of himself home - and wow, he still can't get over that he's actually  _thinking_ that - but he has to be honest, he  _is_ fucking tired. Classic salt-and-burn in Seattle with about two hours sleep  _tops,_ then driving back to Sioux Falls to Bobby's… yeah, he's not going to lie, he could use the sleep.

'I'm turning in.' He declares as he stands from his seat and places the half empty bottle of beer on the table. He stretches a little because he's hardly moved much today and his muscles aren't liking that. He hears the others murmur "goodnight" to him before he heads to his bedroom. He hardly sleeps in there, hasn't really since he was fourteen and his father dumped them at Bobby's instead of taking them on hunts. Or dropping them off motels, which was his favourite thing to do.

But now, with Deanna occupying the couch and Samantha no doubt setting up a makeshift bed on the floor - like what they usually do - he decides sleeping in the room is the best option.

Cas watches him leave before he turns to Sam and Samantha. Sam was watching Dean leave and Samantha was watching Deanna sleep. However, when they feel Cas' eyes on them, they look up.

'Cas?' Sam questions.

'I need to go. But I'll be back as soon as I can.' He declares and as Sam nods, Samantha turns to Cassie.

'You too?'

'Yes.'

Samantha sighs softly, her eyes flickering back over to her sister and trying her hardest not to tell the Angel that Deanna wanted her to stay; asked her to stay, something her sister hardly ever did, no matter how much she wants it. Instead, she just nods her head and bites her lip when the faint rustle of wings sounds through the room and Cas and Cassie disappear.

'So, where am I sleeping?' Bobbie questions, sending a raised eyebrow to the scruffy man that was supposed to be her. Seriously, she wasn't  _that_ bad, was she? She may be a little rough around the edges… but c'mon!

'Any other room that ain't mine.' Bobby retorts, standing from his chair and moving to the door, but before he goes to the stairs, he turns back. 'What about you two?'

Samantha looks at Sam briefly, 'I'm going to stay up, who knows, I may find something we missed.'

'Yeah, me too.' Sam adds and even though both Bobbie and Bobby don't look too pleased about it, they nod their heads and finally turn and ascend the stairs.

'Where do you want to start?' Samantha questions as she looks at the stack of books and journals that both Bobby and Bobbie had pulled out, thinking there may be  _something_  of relevance in one of them. There were too many to get through in one night, they all knew that, but they had to start somewhere. And so far, they had found nothing. But that doesn't mean there was nothing to be found.

Sam shrugs before he just picks the first book up and settles down on the chair, being extra careful and extra quiet because Deanna  _was_ sleeping in the same room, and despite the fact this wasn't the older sibling he grew up with, for some reason, he still had the same care and love for her. If that wasn't weird, he doesn't know what was anymore.

Sammy follows his lead, just picking the first book that catches her eye and settling down, opening it up and skimming and scanning through the pages, to see if she could find anything that would maybe jump out at her.

She's not sure how much time passes, it could've been minutes, it could've been hours, but eventually, she hears Sam clear his throat and she looks up.

He's studying her, looking at her with furrowed brows as if he wants to ask her something, but isn't sure if he can or if he should or if it would be all right.

'What is it?'

'I just… did you… with the, uh, Demon blood?' He finally spits out and even though Samantha stiffens because that's always one thing that she doesn't like being brought up at any time; always makes her feel uncomfortable, she closes her book over because she knows that this conversation will be more than a sentence or two.

'I did. I'm sure I did everything you did; fell in love with a Demon, got hooked on Demon  _blood_ , killed Lilith and broke the last seal… the whole shebang.' She declares softly, not quite meeting his eyes because she hasn't even  _talked_ about this before, only ever thought about it and how it felt and how she feels about it now. She's wanted to talk about it, but Deanna would never let her. Every time she brought it up, started to say sorry and try and offload the guilt that was eating at her, Deanna would just turn and say that she didn't want to hear it, or try and change to subject if she was feeling more tolerant. And Samantha let her because she let her big sister down and it was the least she could do to respect her wish not to talk about it.

But Samantha  _needed_ to talk about it and the fact that the only person she  _could_ talk to didn't want to hear it… well, that wasn't the best thing or feeling.

'"Fell in love"? You actually…  _loved_ …? What was your Demon's name? Mine was Ruby.'

'Rupert.' She answers shortly because saying his name now was like chewing venom. 'And yes, love. Are you trying to tell me you didn't? In some weird, twisted fucked up way? Every part of me tries to deny it, but I know for a fact that it was half the reason I willingly drank the blood from him; the reason I slept with him. Let him twist me. It's embarrassing to admit it, and trust me, I'd never tell Deanna that, but… I can't lie to you, and you can't lie to me. A part of me still felt saddened when Deanna stabbed him with the knife.'

Sam is silent for a long minute, and Samantha is starting to worry if they're not exactly alike, because what if he didn't love his Demon? What if he didn't fall in love with Ruby who got him hooked on blood? What if it was just her? What if she was a bigger freak than her male part? She doesn't really know how to deal with that, but before her mind can do anymore damage, Sam is speaking again.

'I've been lying to myself for so long. Dean was never fond of Ruby, and already thinks of me as this big freak. I can see it in his eyes sometimes, when he looks at me. And I know it would just push him over the edge if I ever told him that. But, it's nice admitting it. Never thought I'd be admitting it to myself as a woman, but that's a whole other story.' He finishes with a chuckle and Samantha can't help but join in.

'And I'm guessing you spent more than a year without a soul?' Samantha questions when they finally stop their chuckling, because even though that was a little funny quip, she's not got long before Deanna starts to wake, knows her sister can't sleep for long and she needs to get as much out as possible. No matter what, but she needs to offload to the only person that'll listen; the only person that'll  _truly_ understand.

Sam doesn't answer aloud, just nods his head and Samantha swallows, because she can see what that means; can see the guilt for the all the horrible things he did without it.

'How's the wall holding up?'

'So far so good. Couple of thoughts have come spilling through, but nothing from the Cage, so everything's good, I suppose.' He answers and Samantha nods her head.

They fall silent again, and even though Samantha wanted to unload her feelings and thoughts, she wasn't sure if Sam wanted to do that as well. Not to mention, she was unsure just how far back she wanted to go. There were things that she knew she needed to talk about but those were just too painful. It was one thing to talk about Rupert and Demon blood and being a soulless son of a bitch, but this… this was going to be painful. Even though she thinks about him  _every single fucking day_ , and feels bad and lost when she doesn't… it's still painful.

'Don't get me wrong though,' she starts up, because she knows what she's like. If he doesn't want to talk about this, he won't talk about it. He'll tell her to drop it and that's good. If she can talk about it, it'll be amazing, but maybe if he's not prepared to talk, it'll show her that she's not ready yet, either. 'I never loved him like I loved Jeff. Sometimes, after sleeping with him and drinking his blood or using my abilities… I'd just sit in the dark and  _hate_ myself, because I'd feel like I had let him down. And I still think I did. I thought I had got away from this life and it came back and it caught up with me, and instead of just taking me, it took him too. And I hate myself for ignoring those dreams.'

She swallows deeply, reaching up to brush away a stray tear and she ends up rolling her eyes at herself, because since when does she cry? Oh, that's right, every single time she thinks about Jeffery Moore, that's when she starts to cry. Or when she thinks about everything she's done to let Deanna down.

'I keep telling myself that I just thought they were dreams, but it doesn't ease the guilt. I don't think it ever will. I see her everywhere; sometimes I do double-takes because I'm positive I see her walking by me. Or see her across the street. I'd give anything to have her back, but if having her back meant having her with this life, I couldn't do it.'

'But want to know the fucked up thing? I know I'd go back and do it all over again.' Samantha declares. 'I know it's horrible; I know it pulled Deanna and me apart, I know she doesn't trust me the same, but it was either falling for Rupert and drinking blood or killing myself. I'd lost Jeff. Dad, even though we never got on. Then I lost Deanna,' she reaches up and brushes another single tear away, before running a hand through her brown hair. 'I had no one, then he appeared and gave me something worthwhile. Hunting down Lilith; saving people instead of just stabbing them with the knife. That  _meant_ something to me, and I know that I'd still do it… just maybe listen to Dee a little more; stop when she came back and gave me something else to concentrate on.'

She turns to look at her sister then, watching as Deanna turns over on the couch, so she's now lying on her stomach, her arms coming up to encircle the pillow beneath her head. She sighs and her breathing settles and smoothes out again as she goes back to sleep.

'I just wish she had something to hold onto. I'm getting there. I've done bad things; I do bad things but I'm starting to deal with it. But she's… she's going downhill; she needs someone. I thought she wanted Luis and Beth… but I was wrong.'

'They fight for what the want; what the love. They gave up too easily there, didn't they?' Sam agrees, looking at Deanna too, but his eyes flicker back over to Samantha at the end, watching as she nods.

'Cassie helps her, though. Brightens her up. She pretends she doesn't; acts like having Cassie near her doesn't improve her mood, make her feel…  _whole_ , but I know my sister and she can't hide stuff like that from me. Not when I've seen her beaten and broken since… well, for a long,  _long_ time.'

The brief mention of their childhood is enough to draw them out of the little bubble they had enveloped themselves in, and they fall back into silence. Both of them picturing it; their drunk father, stumbling and both Sam and Samantha, too headstrong and like their father that they couldn't  _not_ bring it up. And Dean or Deanna would jump in there and take the brunt of it; take the reaction to their words.

Yet another thing they were so sorry and guilty for.

Samantha clears her throat, because this has suddenly gone to a darker place; a place she has no intentions of visiting or ever facing. Never.

'I think we should try and get some sleep.' She looks at the clock. 'It won't be long till they start waking and no point getting everyone else worried because we didn't catch any sleep. The last thing I need is Dee busting my ass about it. Her "mothering" isn't the best thing to witness.' She chuckles before she places the book back onto the desk and moves over to stand in front of Sam, who had just stood from his chair as well.

'I'll be honest, it was nice to get it out. For once.' He admits, giving her a soft smile. 'Thanks for that. Maybe this isn't so bad after all.'

With that said, he turns and walks away, going to join Dean in their little room. Samantha watches him go before sighing and kicking off her boots. She falls down onto the floor, sliding herself onto the cover that was there and she shrugs out of her plaid shirt. She scrunches it up and places it under her head as she lies down.

And for the first time since Death shoved her soul back into her, she's wishing she didn't have one anymore. Because she didn't sleep when she had no soul. And not sleeping means not dreaming.

And she'd kill to avoid the horrible sights of her childhood that plague her dreams then.

She was right. That was an itch that she  _definitely_ shouldn't have scratched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls and boys aren't helping either Bobby, and well, it's annoying them. So, instead, they hand them a case, and pretty much tell them to get to hell because they're being as opposite as helpful as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for how long this took! This chapter just DID NOT WANT TO BE WRITTEN! But I have an update for you now! So yeah!
> 
> To be honest, I'm a little iffy about this chapter, and it's not as long as I had intended but I just wanted to post it instead of making you wait any longer! I'm still happy-ish with it, but meh. Nah, colour me indifferent about this chapter.
> 
> Now onto to the chapter! Let me know what you think! It'd be really nice to hear some nice feedback! Especially when my mojo for my writing has been so down lately. Nice words inspire me and make me update faster. ;D

One week. One whole week. One whole fucking week they've been here and they're no closer to getting back home.  _One fucking week!_  How was that possible? How was it possible that they could stay in a universe where they exist as men for  _one week_?

And to make matters worse, neither Crowley had popped back in to let them know this Demon's name. They had no clue who was controlling this stupid portal; no idea who was petty enough to send them to a different universe, and the way things were going, they were never going to know. They were going to be stuck here.

Like some stupid, fucked up, extended family.

'Move your feet.' Samantha snaps as she comes into the kitchen, taking ahold of Deanna's boots and forcibly shoving them from their place on top of the kitchen table. 'You're so bloody messy, Dee.'

'Wow, go and take some aspirin Sammy, if it's that time of the month.'

'Shut up, jerk. Not all of us turn into moody bitches when we get our periods… but of course, I forgot you do.'

'Bitch.' Deanna retorts as she purposefully lifts her feet and sits them back on the table, just as Sammy pulls the chair out and sits down with a bowl of cereal.

'Dammit, Deanna!' Sammy slams her hand against the table, but the only thing it does is cause Dee to chuckle.

'Sure you're not bleeding, sister dearest?' She questions, examining her nails before she sends her sister a grin as she watches her from the corner of her eye.

Samantha clenches her jaw, ready to snap when Dean and Sam walk in, saving her from saying anything else.

'Good, you can keep her company.' Sammy states as she grabs her bowl and stands from her chair, marching through to the library and because neither Bobby is around, she sits down at the desk and starts to eat after sending a final glare to Deanna.

'What makes you think I wanted company in the first place, Sammy? I was sitting here and  _you_ joined  _me_!' She retorts but gets nothing but silence in reply, so she sighs and turns back to the two guys still standing in the doorway, staring at them both with wide eyes.

'What?'

'Nothing. Nothing.' They both murmur, scratching the back of their heads as the move into the kitchen and after getting either cereal or coffee, they sit down at the table next to Deanna.

'No, seriously, what the fuck is up with you two?' Deanna demands the second they sit down and don't say anything more. One week here and she's realised one thing; if her male equivalent is  _exactly_ like her, like one hundred percent like her, she can't shut the fuck up. And neither can Sam when he gets started, but she knew that about Sammy anyway. And now, here they were, not saying one word. Yeah. Something was up. She knew that much.

'It's just. You two. You seem to be on short fuses, that's all.'

'Well can you blame us? We're stuck here! You two aren't exactly the best company, I mean Sammy's whining and healthiness and all that other crap is bad enough when it's just her, never mind adding her as dude to the mix, and you? Me? Whatever the fuck I'm supposed to say, you're all broody and depressed and I know why, but you - I, we - can't tell anyone, and it's bad enough trying to fight it and put a smile on my face, without seeing you do the same.' She stops for a breath. 'And Crowley is nowhere, same with Cassie, and I just want to get back to normal and not be stuck in this mould-infested place!'

'Stop your whinging.' Bobbie's gruff voice sounds from behind her, and Deanna immediately moves her feet from the top of the kitchen table.

'And it ain't mould-infested.' Bobby adds, but when the four of them fix him with a look, he adds, 'Not that much mould, anyway.'

'Keep telling yourself that, Bobby.' Dean mutters, before his eyes land on the newspaper he holds in his hand. 'What's that?'

'It's a newspaper, ya idjit.'

Dean purses his lips and nods his head, standing from his seat and going to head for the fridge, but Bobbie is there and stopping him from moving any further forward.

'We've found you lot a case.' Bobbie declares as she pulls the newspaper from Bobby's hand, handing it to Deanna out of reflex.

Deanna frowns but says nothing as she unfolds the newspaper as sees the heading:  _Four mauled in a freak wolf attack in Lafayette, Indiana._

'We've got a case. Getting these three back to their own universe! I think that takes priority.' Dean argues as he finishes reading over Deanna's shoulder. Yeah. There was definitely a case there, seeing as the four were nowhere near each other when they were killed, and were all safely in their houses when they were killed, but his words were true! Getting the girls home was more important than this hunt that another hunter could take care of.

'Yeah, we know that, but we're no closer to getting home or  _finding_  out a way to get us home. So, whilst Bobby and I are trailing our way through books and other hunters, you four are sitting about sulking, moaning and getting into fights about the stupidest little things. So, pack up and get out of the house and go and hunt this thing, it'll do you some good.'

'You're kidding? You're just gonna send us away when we could be helping?' Deanna questions as she hands the newspaper to Samantha who comes through form the library to join the conversation.

'You've had a week to help and after that first night, you haven't picked up a single book! Your Angel hasn't dropped in since and as you said, Crowley hasn't been back with the info he promised. So, yeah, you four can hit the road to Indiana and work this case. After that, we'll see what happens.' Bobby explains, crossing his arms over his chest. 'Now, are you gonna go willingly or do I need to fill you with a round of buckshots?'

'Jesus.' Deanna mutters as she stands from her seat, picking up her leather jacket that was slung over the back of the chair. 'Fine. C'mon.'

'What? We're just going?'

'Yeah! Because what he said is true, and if I stay in this house any longer I'm going to go insane. Now c'mon!'

Without waiting to make sure anyone was following her, she snags the keys from their place on the counter before heading outside, straight to the Impala and straight to the driver's side.

'Hold up, what do you think you're doing?' Dean's voice sounds from behind her, and before she knows what's happening, he's placed himself between her and the door. His hands head for the keys, but she pulls them away sending a glare at him.

'I'm driving  _my_ car.' She replies. 'You've had her the whole week, I want to drive my baby.'

'She's  _my_ baby.'

'I'm you Dean, just with boobs. I am driving my car!'

'My universe, sweetheart, my car.'

Deanna cocks her head to the side as she narrows her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. She grinds her teeth together for a second before she retorts, 'Don't "sweetheart" me, big boy.' She watches as Dean's eyes widen slightly. 'Try and stop me.'

Dean takes a moment before he moves away from the door with a small murmur, 'Fine, whatever.'

She sends him a false smile before she opens the door, sliding into the driver's seat and watches as Dean and Sam make no move to enter the car. Dean turns to Sam as Deanna enters the front seat and sends him a small smirk.

'I'm so hot when I'm mad.'

'Ew. Dean. No.' Sam mutters, taking the newspaper from its place on the roof of the Impala where he'd placed it earlier and heads straight for the backseat.

'Sometime today, big boy!' Deanna calls, rolling down the window to shout at Dean, who sends a childish glare at her and walks around the car to get to the passenger's seat.

'Big boy? Do I even want to know?' Samantha questions as she slides into the backseat next to Sam, having been picking up the laptop Sam had stupidly left behind.

'No. You do not.' Sam answers and Deanna just laughs before she puts the key in the ignition, puts the car into drive and hits the gas. The Impala hurtles onto the road with a small spin that Deanna and Dean only grin at.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

'We can't be  _that_  bad.' Dean states out of the blue. They've been on the road for God knows how long, and Sam and Samantha are fast asleep in the back; huddled up and snoring every so often. Deanna keeps checking on them in the rearview mirror, making sure everything is all right, even though she knows it is. It's just a habit she can't shake; checking up on her younger sister.

And judging from the way Dean keeps looking over his shoulder, it's something he can't quite quit either.

'What?'

'All that complaining from earlier. C'mon, Sammy, Bobby and me can't be  _that_ bad.' He elaborates as he turns back from checking up on Sam, sending Deanna a questioning gaze.

Her hand unclenches and clenches around the steering wheel once before she chuckles.

'Nah.'

'Time of the month thing?'

Without even thinking about it, Deanna reaches out with her free hand and gives him a punch on his arm; a hard, solid hit that has him yelping, his hand automatically coming up to rub the pain away. His eyes immediately fall onto the backseat a moment later, however, and when he sees that his yelp hadn't woken either of them up, he turns back to Deanna.

'What the hell was that for?' He asks in a hushed voice, knowing that Sam wouldn't be in such a deep sleep after his - very manly - cry of pain.

'For being a misogynist dick. I'm perfectly capable of being annoyed and pissed without bleeding from my vagina, thank you very much.' Deanna hisses, sending him a glare.

'You were teasing Samantha about it earlier!'

'I'm allowed to!'

'How is that fair?'

'It just is.' Deanna declares. 'But no, you're not that bad. I just… I just miss a lot of things from back home. It's still the same fucked up planet, but it's the fucked up planet that  _Sammy_ and  _I_  saved, y'know? It's the same suicidal planet that Sammy and I fought tooth and nail to keep alive. It sounds weird, but it's how I feel.'

'No, I kinda get it.'

She says nothing in reply, and to be honest, she's not sure how much time passes before she speaks again. Trees pass by, blend into one blur of black and green and brown. There's stars in the sky, something that always seems to ground Deanna, even though her attention is focused on the road in front of her, lit by the headlights of the Impala.

She bites her bottom lip, nipping at the soft flesh with her teeth so hard that she almost draws blood. Her hands fidget around the steering wheel because she knows that what's coming next isn't going to be easy to say, but Dean's got to be thinking it as well, right? If she was thinking and feeling this way, he would be thinking and feeling this way too? That's how the whole "same person; different gender" thing works, right?

'There's only one good thing to come of this,' she starts, and now she's started, she can't stop. Not now. She closes her eyes briefly, opening them because she needs to focus on driving. But she's started talking, and Dean's looking at her know, green eyes fixed on her, blond eyebrows raised in questioning because she still hasn't continued yet.

Oh God, this wasn't a good idea.

But she's started now, so she needs to continue. Otherwise Dean wouldn't let it drop. And better say it now when Sammy can't hear.

'What's that?' Dean prompts, when after three minutes, she  _still_ hasn't continued.

She swallows hard. She turns her head and fixes her green eyes on him, studying him and when she sees conformation that he probably knows what she's going to say, she turns her head back to the front; back to the road and finishes the sentence she started.

She gives a small half-chuckle-half-scoff, shaking her head.

'Honestly?'

Dean nods his head in confirmation and she purses her lips, before a stupid small smile appears on her lips at the mere thought.

'It's seeing Cassie more often.'


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go on the hunt and go to a bar to celebrate after it. But things never go smoothly, do they??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back with another chapter and it didn't take as long as before! I deserve a medal for that! ;p
> 
> Now, I don't want to keep you waiting, here's the new chapter!

'Right, Sammy and… Sam, you go hit the library or whatever and do your research… Dean and… I will go and have a look at the crime scene. Fuck me, this is never gonna not sound weird.' Deanna declares as she pulls into a parking space at the hotel.

Just looking at the place makes her skin crawl; she can see the room now. The stupidest, cheesiest wallpaper and bedding, hair in the dingy shower's drain, questionable stains and smells, and fuck this, couldn't she just once stay in a luxury hotel with feather-pillows and soft cottons sheets, and a shower that's water pressure is downright  _pleasurable_.

'Do we get to take the car?'

'No!' Dean and Deanna answer at the same time, rounding in their seats to look at their siblings, fixing them with a definite stare that proved they had no chance in hell of getting the Impala.

They both roll their eyes before they open the door and slide out of the backseats, after telling Dean and Deanna that they'll be back soon and to call if they needed them. After watching them go until they are out of sight, Dean and Deanna get out of the car, slamming the doors shut behind them as they make their way to the reception to get the two hotel rooms.

'Who's bunking with who?'

'Well, I was thinking Sammy and me, and you and Sam, seeing as that's the norm.' Dean replies just before he dings the bell and turns to Deanna.

'Yeah, but c'mon, how many chances do you get to share a room with yourself? It'd be like having your  _own room_. That'd be awesome, man.' Deanna replies before she turns to the small, petite woman who appears behind the desk.

After paying for the room and spending a good minute or two trying to convince the woman that yes, they would be sleeping in separate beds, and that no, they weren't lying to her, they finally get the key and head to the room.

Deanna pulls out her phone and fires a quick text to Sammy telling her that they've got a hotel room but Sam and her will have to get theirs when they get back.

Dean sits his bag down on the bed nearest the door before he turns to Deanna.

'I think we'll just share a room.' He informs before he turns back to the bag, starting to rake through it, not having any plans on unpacking because when does he ever unpack? What's the point of unpacking when he's going to be checking out in two or three days?

And it isn't until he's pulled out his suit, pulled his jeans off and thrown them in the bag, and pulled his cheap "FBI" pants on that he realises something.

'You've not got a suit.'

'Nope.'

Dean says nothing for a moment, pulling his zipper up and suddenly feeling weird that this is the first time since Lisa he's got dressed in front of someone other than Sam. Then he realises that it doesn't really count because it'd be like getting dressed with a mirror in the room, right?

God. He just needs to stop thinking about it.

'You could wear Sammy's.' He offers as he pulls on his plain, white cotton shirt and starts to button it up, grimacing when he slides the last button through its hole and it presses against his Adam's apple. He hated wearing these cheap, unfitted suits.

Deanna chuckles, 'I don't think that'd fit me. I can see why Crowley calls him "Jolly Green". Man's built like a tank.'

She runs a hand through her blonde hair, trying to think about how to deal with this without buying a new suit, but she comes up short.

'Quick trip to the mall we passed as we came here?' She offers as he straightens his tie and pulls his suit jacket on. He readjusts his shirt sleeves, fixes his collar and after stretching a little to get used to the suit, he nods.

'Yeah, but you're paying sweetheart.'

Deanna smirks, 'No problem, big boy.'

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

The Impala pulls up at the house and after looking at it for a moment, Dean shuts the engine off and his eyes land on Deanna instead.

'Recent vic, Phil Ross. Wife and two kids.'

'You know something, Dean, I  _have_ been a hunter since I was, what? Officially eighteen, unofficially five. Just like you. I have read the file that Sammy got us, believe it or not.' Deanna rolls her eyes. 'Now are we doing this or what. I hate dealing with grieving widows.'

'Seriously?'

'Seriously.'

She opens the door and slides out of the car, readjusting the jacket of the cheap suit they'd picked up for her. It wasn't exactly as nice as the one from her own world - even though that wasn't that nice either - but they knew it would do for this one hunt. But as usual, she just can't wait to get back to the hotel and get into her jeans and flannel shirt.

'Well, there's our very first difference.' Dean mutters as he checks his inner pocket to make sure his fake FBI badge was there, and when he looks up he finds Deanna doing the same. Whilst she was flitting around the store trying to find the nicest of the cheapest suits, he was sitting in the waiting area outside the dressing rooms creating her fake ID.

'Not necessarily. I'm just into dudes, Dean.' She declares before she reaches up and gives the door three sharp knocks.

Dean gives a chuckle but falls silent the second he hears the lock on the door rattle.

After a moment, a small blonde haired woman appears at the door, her brown eyes flickering between Dean and Deanna before a frown appears on her tanned face.

'Can I help you?'

'Hi, I'm Agent Page, this is my partner, Agent Plant,' Dean answers, both of them fishing out their badges and flashing them at the victim's wife. 'We were wondering if we could ask you a few questions regarding your husband's death.'

'The police have already been by…' she trails off, looking between them once again and Deanna takes a small step forward, plastering a hopefully kind and reassuring smile on her face, just like she's seen Sammy do so often.

'It'll only take a few minutes, I promise.'

Deanna bites her lip as the woman considers this and sighs with relief when she nods her head and moves aside to let them enter.

And just before she enters the house, she wiggles his eyebrows at Dean and sends him a teasing smile.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

'So what are we thinking? Just a ghost or something else?' Deanna questions as the slide into the Impala once more, after having to physically drag Dean away from the house. Apparently, the whole family was in helping the wife through the difficult time, and Dean clocked a twenty-something brunette who turned out to be the victim's sister.

'Depends on the history of the place. We'll meet up with the geniuses and decide.' He informs as he puts the car into drive and moves away from the house, after sending the brunette who'd followed them to the door a small wave.

'I don't get the family.' She says the minute they leave the house. Especially when the first thing she did when her sister died was to scream and cry and sit by her dead body for  _hours,_ before going insane and driving to a crossroad to make a deal to bring her back.

And here this sister had just lost his brother and was ready to jump into bed with the FBI agent with the "emerald green eyes" that was investigating his death. If Deanna was a  _real_ FBI agent, she would've put her at her number one suspect.

She doesn't realise she's said all of this aloud until Dean is replying with, 'Maybe they're not that close. You and I know better than anyone that our relationship with our Sam isn't the most healthiest in the world. Hell,  _everyone_ knows it. It's our damn Achilles' heel.'

'Christ, I'm not asking her to do what we did, even I know that was a big fucking mistake, I'm just asking her to show a  _little_ bit of compassion. Hell, Sammy was sad when Dad died - which is saying something.'

'So… Mom died in the nursery in your universe, too?'

Deanna swallows hard and only nods her head.

'And Dad after making a deal with Azazel?'

She nods her head again but says nothing and after that, Dean drops the subject, letting her slide Led Zeppelin's "Unnamed Album" into the cassette player and turn the volume up until they get back to the hotel to meet up with Sam and Samantha.

'What number are they?'

'112.'

'Right next to ours, handy.'

'So, get this,' Sam states the second they walk through the door. 'Back in the 30s, there was this gangster and -'

'Let me guess? His way of killing people was messy and violent and animalistic.' Deanna jumps in, shrugging out of her jacket and throwing it onto the bed, seemingly forgetting that she wasn't sleeping in this room.

'Pretty much, but he had a thing for people who didn't pay him back or return his favours, so Samantha and I looked over the victims again and guess what?'

'They were in debt to someone for something?' Dean offers, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top button on his shirt, letting out a sigh of relief when the pressure is relieved.

'Yeah; the first vic was months behind on his child support and alimony, second was - and this is really sad - in debt to a friend because he hadn't met up with her for drinks when he said he would.' Samantha starts and when Sam picks up when she finishes, a frown appear on both Dean and Deanna's face.

'The third and fourth victims were more normal and were simply a bit behind on loans or mortgages. But we looked through the history and found that this isn't the first time his ghost has killed. He pops up every five years and takes out as much as he can.'

'Why only five years?'

'Because that's how long his reign lasted, police managed to track him down and kill him on the 17th October, 1938.'

'Buried or cremated?'

'Buried.' Sam declares and Dean and Deanna turn to look at each other, pursing their lips before nodding their heads.

'Sounds good to me. We'll go and get changed and then we'll burn this son of a bitch.' Dean suggest.

'Easy.'

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

Digging up the body is relatively easy with the four of them there, being able to swap about and take turns makes the job surprisingly easy, and it's not long before they're down to the coffin and are cracking the lid open.

But that's when the easy part ends.

As soon as they crack the coffin open the son of a bitch appears.

'Shotgun!' Deanna shouts, turning around trying to find the closest one as the ghost advances on her. She spots one just a few feet away from her but before she can make a go for it, she's suddenly being thrown off her feet, soaring through the air and collapsing in a heap even further away from the shotgun.

But a blast sounds and when she brushes her hair out of her face and looks around, she notices that he's nowhere to be found.

'I'm setting that bastard aflame.' She declares as she stands up, briefly dusting down her clothes before heading over to the tub of salt that's lying abandoned by the side of the grave. She lifts it and after spreading a decent amount over the bones, she goes for the petrol.

Before she can even get the lid off it, she's thrown backwards again and the ghost is standing over her, staring down at her with its dead eyes.

'I'm getting too old for this shit.'

The ghost goes to make its attack but another shot sounds and it disappears.

Deanna stands again with a groan and this time, she's determined to burn the asshole before he manages to reappear. She grabs the petrol can, pours as much in as possible.

'I'm burning the bastard extra crispy.' She sneers when Dean mentions that they don't have much petrol left, and it doesn't take  _that_ much to get the fire started.

She lights the matches and just as she goes to throw them in, the spectre shows up again. Deanna sends him a teasing smirk before she throws the matches in and watches as the ghost in front of them dissolves into flames, screaming and howling as he does so before there's nothing left.

Deanna lets out a shaky breath before she admits, 'I need a drink after that.'

Dean chuckles and nods his head along with her, and both Samantha and Sam just roll their eyes before they all turn and head back to the Impala, hopping in and driving to the first bar that they find.

They make their way to a free table and Deanna jumps up after just sitting down.

'I'll get the first round. What're we drinking? Whisky all round? Sounds good to me.'

Sam and Samantha go to protest but Deanna's away before they get a word in and they just give up, sitting back down and falling into a discussion as Dean sits back and drums his fingers against the table as he waits for Deanna to come back.

'Hello, Dean.' Cas' gravelly voice sounds from beside him and he jumps, clenching his jaw and fists as he lets out a shaky breath. His eyes scan Cas over once and he tries not to think of Deanna's words in the car.

_It's seeing Cassie more often._

And he clears his throat as his eyes land on Cassie a moment later.

'What've I told you about that, Cas?' He declares, his eyes moving away from the two Angels and landing on Deanna who's still at the bar, but being crowded by two men.

'Crap.' Samantha whispers and before she can turn to Cassie to tell her not to make another scene, the blue eyed woman is already gone and standing beside the two men who are clearly heckling Deanna. 'Crap.'

'Come on, darling, just let us buy you a drink.'

'Listen,  _baldy_ , I don't want you to buy me a drink, so you and chucklehead here can go straight to Hell.'

His hand is suddenly placed upon her shoulder, turning her so she's looking him in the eye and she sneers at him, but before she can make a move the other man is grabbing her arms and pinning them to her sides.

Deanna gives a few tugs but finds she can't get out of his grasp and swallows hard because nope, this was bringing back too many memories, too many bad memories. Darkness, and fire, and pain and torture and the  _helplessness_ that she always felt, and no, no, no.

'I highly suggest you remove your hands from her.' Cassie states, gaining the attention of the three of them.

The bald man smirks, 'Adding your friend to the mix, I like it.'

Cassie narrows her eyes at him and instead of saying anything else, she reaches forward and grabs the man who's pinning Deanna's arms to her side, and with a small thrust, pulls him off Deanna and sends him a few steps backwards. Her hand clasps Deanna's wrist and Cassie tugs Deanna behind her.

'Leave.' Cassie growls and she goes to take a step closer to him when he holds up his hands and slowly backs away.

Deanna rubs her hand up and down her arms as Cassie turns back to her.

'Thanks, Cassie. For, uh, yeah.' She mutters before she takes the four glasses of whisky and heads back to the table.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

Two hours later they finally make it back to the hotel and Sam and Samantha pair off to their own hotel room. Cas and Cassie had left an hour before they did, saying they had other things to be doing, both Dean and Deanna had tuned out as soon as they said they had to leave again, not really interested in their excuses.

'Hey, that shit at the bar, does that happen a lot?' Dean questions as pulls his jacket off and throws it onto the chair, on top of his bag.

'More often than you'd think.' Deanna shrugs as she does the same, but reaches under to unhook her bra and after some careful manoeuvring, pulls it out from under her sleeve and throws it on top of their jackets. 'I guess have a dick does have some advantages.'

Dean says nothing but continues to watch her as she places her gun under her pillow and pulls back the covers on the bed, and after a brief moment he follows her example and when they're both in bed and just before he rolls over to turn the small light on the table beside him, he feels the desire to say something.

'I'm sorry 'bout what you've to go through, by the way, can't be easy.'

'Don't worry about it, Dean, it's not like it's your fault.' She replies. ''Night.'

'Yeah,' he replies softly, clicking the light off and letting out a small sigh when the room is enveloped in darkness. ''Night.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley comes back with the Demon's name.

As usual, Dean wakes after only two or three hours sleep. He reminds himself that he didn't get back to the hotel until 4am after looking at the clock and seeing it reads "06:00". He groans and falls onto his back once more, but knows he won't be getting back to sleep. He knows he has no chance of falling asleep again, his body seems capable of only accepting two hours of sleep and no more.

'Hey, you awake over there?' He calls softly, just incase Deanna is still asleep because maybe his female equivalent is better at sleeping; has a better sleeping schedule than he has - than he ever could have.

'Of course.' She replies and that shoots down all of those thoughts. Of course she was going to have the same screwed up sleeping patterns, what was he thinking? She was exactly like him but with breasts, he should be used to that by now.

'You heard anything from either of the Sams? Dean questions as he sits up, moving the covers off his too warm body and looks over to her, seeing that she still hasn't really moved that much. She's still lying on her stomach and he can see the curves and dips of her back and wow, he really shouldn't be thinking about that.

'Nope.'

He gives a small hum in response before he looks around the room, pursing his lips.

'Is there a reason you're being so short?'

He hears her sigh before he watches her turn her head, fixing her green eyes on him and even from his bed he can see the tiredness and heaviness in them.

'Had a nightmare last night. Haven't been to sleep since.' She replies sleepily, burying her face further into the pillow once she's finished, trying to get back to sleep because like she said last night, she's getting too old for this. Maybe when she was just into her twenties she could survive a night or two without sleep, but now? Now she needed her sleep otherwise she'd collapse as soon as she stepped out of the bed.

'Oh.' Is all Dean can say before he falls silent again.

The minutes tick on before Dean speaks again, his mind still fogged over with that haziness of just waking up.

'I've found sex helps me sleep.'

Deanna quirks an eyebrow as she slowly raises her head from the pillow, fixing him with her questioning stare as she cocks her head to the side, and purses her lips to try and stop the laugh from breaking free.

'Sex? Really?'

'Yeah, I mean, it'd be like masturbating, don't you think?' He answers slowly because even now he's beginning to realise just how stupid it was to say that. He shouldn't be allowed to talk for the first hour after he wakes up if this is the stupid shit he says.

'Can't be any weirder than people thinking Sammy and I bang each other.' Deanna replies as she rests her head back onto the pillow, she scoffs slightly at the thought before she continues, her voice muffled by the pillow, 'And that was  _not_ an invitation, now, I'm going to try and get back to sleep. Wake me at eight if I'm not up by then.'

With that, she rolls over and throws the covers over her head to block out the light and the other occupant of the room.

Dean stares at her sheet covered form before he scoffs, 'My pickup lines are getting so bad that even  _I_ won't sleep with me.'

He rolls his eyes and flops back onto his back, deciding not to think too much about that otherwise it'll just mess his mind up even more.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

Even though she sincerely thought she wouldn't, Deanna manages to get back to sleep and finds herself waking up after another hour-and-a-half of peaceful slumber.

She hears the distinctive sounds of water at a shitty pressure battering against walls and Dean's singing. She smirks into her pillow when she hears him singing "Hey, Jude" and tries not to feel saddened by that. She lies on the bed for a couple of minutes until he finishes the song and moves onto Led Zeppelin's "Ramble On". And she won't deny that he's got a good voice. But she sort of expected that, many people had told her she had a decent voice whenever she felt brave enough to sing in front of anyone else except Sammy and Baby.

Deanna rolls over onto her back and her eyes land on the figure at the bottom of her bed, standing watching her with a smirk on their painted red lips.

'Crowley.' She sneers as she reaches for the knife on the bedside table. She grabs ahold of the handle and rolls herself off the bed, standing and brandishing the knife at the Queen of Hell at the bottom of her bed.

The Demon does nothing except gives a chuckle, her smirk widening.

'Put the claws away, kitty.' Crowley chuckles, her heels silent against the carpet as she moves closer to Deanna, who raises the knife as she tightens her hold on it. Crowley raises her hands and stands still. 'I only want to talk, Squirrel.'

Deanna's lips purse at the stupid, inaccurate nickname but she's saved from replying when the door to the bathroom opens and Dean appears at the threshold, his cheap, white cotton towel hanging low on his hips. He stops as soon as he sees the Demon and his eyes scan the room, taking in the scene before him.

'My, my, I'm a little jealous of my counterpart,' Crowley mutters as her eyes rake over Dean's body, who swallows hard and crosses his arms over his chest before he thinks of a better idea, and moves to pick up the bundle of clothes on the chair that he'd set out earlier. He moves back into the bathroom and Crowley chuckles before turning back to Deanna.

'I never put you down as shy and self-conscious.'

'Go screw yourself.'

'You know, I can now. I never thought of that, I may just take your advice.' Crowley purrs before she chuckles at the look on Deanna's face. 'But, I came here with something in mind; the Demon's name.'

'You've got it?'

'No, I came here to be threatened from you.  _Of course_ I have it!' Crowley rolls her eyes. 'Now I know why they call Moose the smart one.'

Deanna clicks her tongue but says nothing, lowering the knife ever-so-slightly.

'Tell me then.'

'It's name's Maria. Well, that's the name of it's meatsuit, I know it as something else, but no need for that name.'

'Maria? That's all we're getting? No location, nothing else? Just  _Maria_?' Dean questions as he emerges from the bathroom once more, a frown etched upon his face.

'It's all you need to summon it.' Crowley explains. 'And just so you know, if you decide to hunt it instead of summoning it - which I know you like to do, you're not the brightest bunch really - she likes to move around. Changes locations easy and often, so she's going to be hard to catch. And even harder to keep.'

And with that, Crowley disappears into thin air, leaving Dean and Deanna alone once more.

'I've always hated that bitch.' Deanna sneers as she lets her arm drop to her side, turning to place the knife on the table once more. 'I mean, come on,  _Maria_? That's all we're getting? And what do you think she meant by the whole "she moves around a lot" and "hard to catch, even harder to keep"? What do you think our dearest Queen of Hell is up to?'

Dean hums, 'I don't know, but I'm assuming nothing good. C'mon, let's go and tell Sammy.'

Deanna nods, running a hand through her hair before rubbing a hand over her eyes as she slides her feet into her boots. She goes for her gun that's still tucked under her pillow before she tucks it into her jeans. When she's ready, she turns back to Dean with a small smirk on her lips.

'Ready.'

'Well, let's go.'

The walk to Sammy's room is short seeing as it's only next door, and after giving it two knocks, they open the door and walk in. But the minute they do, they freeze at what they see.

Samantha and Sam are standing side-by-side and Crowley, the male version, is standing in front of them.

'Ah, nice of you to join us. I'm assuming my female counterpart has already filled you in, that's good, because I was just finished here as well. They may be the smart ones, but they're not exactly the most trusting, are you?'

With that said, he clicks his fingers and disappears, leaving the two sets of siblings alone.

'So, you know about Maria?'

'Yeah.'

'Did you manage to get anything else out of the smarmy dick?' Deanna questions, looking between Samantha and Sam, before she turns to close the door behind her, just to be positive that no one was watching them or listening to them.

'Well, apparently it's currently in Michigan, but it-'

'Likes to move, yeah, we heard.' Deanna mutters before she turns back to Dean, raising her eyebrow at him. 'Now what?'

Dean shrugs before they both turn to stare pointedly at Sam and Samantha.

'What?' They ask in unison and Deanna smirks as Dean just chuckles.

'You're the geniuses apparently.'

'So, show us the genius. You did it last night.'

'Yeah, exactly, how did you figure all of that out so fast? It normally takes us a day or two to pull that information together and suddenly you two have it in a matter of  _hours_?' Dean states and Deanna nods her head, a frown appearing on her face as it's brought up again. She had thought about it last night, how weird it was that they had the answers after only a few hours - even though it  _was_ a nice change.

'Yeah, what is up with that?' Deanna adds as she raises her eyebrows at her sister who just shrugs.

'I don't know. It was like working with myself, I could ping things back and forth and he could see it from a different perspective.'

'You never do that with me.' Deanna accuses.

'You don't think the way I do; your mind is either focused on drink, sex or Cassie.' Samantha declares. 'Probably all three at the same time.' She adds in a murmur and Deanna's eyes narrow, her back straightening as she clenches her hands into fists.

'Y'know something, Sammy, go and fuck yourself. Screwing the supernatural thing possessing some poor bastard is  _your_ kind of thing, not mine.' Deanna sneers before she turns on her heel and tugs the door open with so much force it bangs into the wall as it flies open.

She goes straight for the room and she does the first thing that comes to her mind, which is backhand the nearest object - a lamp - from its table and send it crashing to the ground with a shout.

'Shut up and leave me alone.' She orders when she hears footsteps come up behind her as she stands in the middle of the room, her eyes closed and her head turned down towards the floor. 'I swear it, Dean, I'm not in the mood.'

'You expected Dean?' Cassie's voice is such a surprise that Deanna's head shoots up and around so fast she pulls a muscle. 'I can go and get him instead if you wish.'

Deanna's brow furrows as she stares at the Angel in front of her, before she slowly shakes her head, her hand coming up to run through her blonde hair.

'No. No, it's fine. I just… I didn't know you'd be stopping by, that's all.'

Cassie's eyes narrow in that way they always do when she's confused by something she says, and Deanna can't help but wonder why, because she didn't use some pop culture reference this time. It was plain old English, and this Angel was around when the pyramids were built, she  _knew_ and understood English.

'You  _prayed_ for me, Deanna.' Cassie states softly. 'You asked me to come to you.'

Deanna's breath catches in her throat, but she still manages to squeeze out a barely audible, 'Did I?'

But of course, Cassie hears her; she is a Celestial-being after all.

'Yes. You don't remember?'

Deanna wants to say no, say that she was so worked up that she wasn't sure what she was thinking anymore, but instead she finds herself saying, 'Yeah, we've found the Demon's name. It's Maria and apparently it's currently in Michigan.'

'That's all you wanted?' Cassie questions and if Deanna didn't know any better, she would've said the Angel sounded  _disappointed_ , but why would Cassie be disappointed? All she's done recently is avoid Deanna.

'Yep.' Deanna mutters before she digs into her pocket and pulls out her cellphone. 'Should probably call Bobbie.'

And without waiting for Cassie to say anything else, she dials the number and turns her back on the Angel once more, and even before Bobbie answers, or before the phone rings  _once_  she hears the flutter of wings and knows that she's gone.

' _Deanna_?'

'Yeah, we've got the Demon's name and location, I think we're just going to hunt it down in a few.' Deanna explains after letting out a shaky breath.

' _Not now you're not. Come back here. Bobby and I have found out a few things_.'

'More important than the Demon's name and current location?'

' _Yes. Now get back here without asking anymore stupid questions_.'

Before Deanna can protest any further, the line clicks off and she pulls the phone away from her ear, shaking her head as a frown of confusion appears on her face. She slides the cellphone back into her pocket before she turns and heads back to through the other hotel room.

'Just off the phone with Bobbie, she says we've to go back to Sioux Falls, because they've got other information that is apparently more important than the Demon's name and location. So, c'mon, pack up and let's hit the road.'

Sam and Samantha say nothing and only turn to do as she says but as she leaves to go and follow her own orders, Dean's grabbing ahold of her arm and pulling her closer to him.

'You okay?' He questions, his voice barely a whisper at the risk of Sammy hearing.

Deanna casts her eyes to the brother and sister packing up their mess before she nods her head, shrugging out of Dean's grasp with a soft smile.

''Course I am.' She looks back to him, fixing him with green eyes and he's seen those green eyes in the mirror before - the ones full of lies, but he says nothing as she continues, her smile widening into a smirk. 'Now, c'mon big boy, we've got a long drive ahead of us and it's  _your_ turn to drive, I don't think you'll want to miss that, eh?'

And with that, she turns and heads to the Impala because she doesn't have anything to put by because her suit is already in Dean's duffle-bag.

And as she's resting against the body of the Impala, she closes her head, turns her face upwards to the sky and thinks only one thing.

_I'm sorry, Cassie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites
> 
> [THERE'S A DEANCEST PORN AU TO THE BEGINNING OF THIS CHAPTER NOW!! I WROTE IT FOR DEANCEST DECEMBER!!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1094266)
> 
>  
> 
> Oh! And just incase anyone doesn't know because I haven't said it in a while, I have a Facebook page (the link is on my profile) as well as a tumblr (also on my profile) so if you ever want to follow/like one of those to know the progress of chapters and updates and such, then they're there and it would mean a lot to me, as well! :D
> 
> So, I hoped you liked this chapter, I hope you loved the new episode!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassie thinks about Deanna, Cas and Cassie have a emotional talk - of sorts - and the Winchester siblings have a petty falling out and bond with themselves as an other sex. And there's also another familiar face for the Winchester's to get used to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's Chapter 9! It's a little bit of a filler with a tiny bit of a cliffhanger, which makes my next announcement all that much worse. This will be the last update until after November. I'm doing NaNoWriMo this year and having that, plus my college work is already seeming to much, never mind adding still writing these stories. So, yeah. I feel a little bit bad because I've only just posted this, but I hope you understand and I'll be back as soon as the 30th November ends. If I'm doing anything, I'll be planning this story out more, but probably - most definitely, in fact - won't be writing it.

Cassie has been around Deanna Winchester long enough to know when something is wrong with her; whether physically, emotionally or mentally. She knows the telltale signs. She also knows that she can do nothing about it; knows Deanna will  _never_ talk to her about her problems, so she just frowns at her, when she lets slip on her guard and shows a telltale sign, and just worries about her. Just stays silent and wonders what's going on with  _her_ hunter that's making her feel the way she's feeling.

So, when Deanna prays to her, asking her just to be there with her, but when she turns up she can't remember doing so, Cassie knows something is wrong; something more than Deanna's letting on.

Angels are supposed to be indifferent to emotion; aren't supposed to feel it or express. But  _supposed_ is the key word there, Cassie realises. She never really used to question her orders; question that  _thing_ inside her when she witnessed something that she know realises she didn't agree with. There was once a time she was an unmoving, unfeeling,  _uncaring_ statue. But then that changed.

She went to Hell and it all changed.

It's weird how she can say she came out of Hell and could finally  _feel_  but, just one touch on the purest soul she had ever seen would do that. Through darkness, blackness, smoke, hatred and  _evil_ , she could see it, a pure, white and  _good_ soul. Desperately out of place surrounded by the black haze of smoke and torture.

And even when Cassie realised that the good soul, that the Righteous Woman had started to torture, had broke the first Seal by spilling blood in Hell, Cassie could still see the  _purity_ in her soul and, just as Hester said, she was  _lost_.

One touch of Deanna Winchester's soul was enough to make Cassie question everything and lose her obedience.

There were times she would curse Deanna for doing it to her; for worming her way into her heart with those stupid emerald green eyes, those stupid plump lips that were almost permanently tugged into a stupid grin when she was in the presence of the Angel, and those stupid freckles that Cassie sometimes found herself trying to count when she watched Deanna sleep - even though she had been told repeatedly that watching Deanna sleep was down right  _weird_ \- but she never could get them all.

But it never really lasted long, because whilst being nearly human filled her with confusion and sometimes worry and fright, because everything - the feelings, the emotions, the  _choices_  - were just too much and too scary, Deanna was always there and helped her. Just one look to the woman with too much unnecessary guilt would ground her, and Cassie would realise all over just  _why_ she fell from Heaven; just  _why_ she stopped the Apocalypse and was trying to teach the other Angels about  _free will_.

'You're thinking about something.' Cas' voice brings her from her thoughts and she straightens from her previous position of her having her elbows resting on her legs, her hands clasped together and resting against her chin.

'I always start to feel comfortable around Deanna, like I can ask her what's wrong, but then something happens and it's like we're back at that barn, and I've just walked in and she doesn't trust me; doesn't  _believe_ me.'

'I know the feeling.' Cas replies as he too sits down beside her, his back poker straight as well. 'Everyone seems to be having deep conversations with their alternative version… do you think we should be doing it too?'

Cassie nods her head in agreement at Cas' statement, because it is true. She watches over both the Winchester girls, and she's seen Deanna talk to Dean about many things, things she wishes Deanna would talk to  _her_ about - her time in Hell, her feelings towards the Angels and her feelings about the Apocalypse and hell, even her feelings towards Cassie. She normally leaves when they get to the deeper things, because she knows just what Deanna is like; knows how hard it is for her to talk about stuff like that so knows that listening in just wouldn't go down well with Deanna.

She knows it's good that Deanna's  _finally_ found someone to talk to, but still, Cassie can't deny the fact that she wishes it was  _her_ Deanna found solace in.

And then there was Samantha, who had talked about  _everything_ to Sam. Cassie listened to her conversation, even though she knew she shouldn't have, but half the time the only information she got about Deanna was through Samantha, and she was trying to see if they would talk about Deanna and Cassie, and well, she was a little pleased when they did.

But there was something about hearing Samantha talk about the Demon blood, and Rufus and everything else that happened to her that she seriously considered leaving, but then Deanna came up, and Luis, and then they mentioned how Cassie was helping her, and well, that was her until they went to bed.

So, yes, she knew that the others were taking a moment to talk about their thoughts and feelings, but what were her and Cas supposed to talk about?

'Castiel, we both know what needs to be said and who it needs to be said to, talking aloud to each other wouldn't help that.'

Cas sighs softly, leaning down to mimic Cassie's earlier position, his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together, resting against his lips; thinking deeply because he knows how much truth there is in Cassie's words.

He can't say he blames her for feeling the way she does; constantly worrying if the hunter she cares for feels the same way - if the hunter even  _trusts_ her, because he's been there. In fact, he's  _still_ there. There are times he finds himself questioning whether or not Dean actually cares for him or if he's still there because he's  _useful_. He's slowly starting to realise that it's the former, but only because Dean's gradually letting it show; he's slowly but surely showing Cas that he wants him there, not because he's a good weapon, but because he  _wants_ him there, because... for some weird reason, the hunter views him as family now.

And Cas is starting to view him as family too. Sam and Dean Winchester are more of a family to him than Heaven ever was, and for reasons beyond Castiel's understand, that doesn't scare him the way he thought it would.

But he knows that Dean trusts him, though they never talk about that or even talk about the things you would do to the person you trust. And yes, it annoys him at times when he just shrugs off his problems and goes for a drink instead, but Castiel has started to realise that it's a two way street kind of thing.

There are things he's done; things he's  _doing_ that he should be telling Dean about, should've went to Dean first before doing any of them, but he didn't. And he  _still_  hasn't, so even though it annoys him when Dean doesn't open up to him, he almost always finds himself thinking of the old human saying of a "pot calling a kettle black".

He never really understood that before now.

He gives a humourless chuckle, letting his hands fall down into the space between his legs.

'It's much more easier said than done, though, isn't it?'

And Cassie says nothing in reply.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

The drive back to Bobby's is  _definitely_ tense. Deanna still hasn't apologised for snapping at and storming out on Sammy, and Sammy still hasn't said sorry for being so insensitive and provoking her sister - well, not since she tried to do it before they got in the car and Deanna proceeded to tell her to get bent, and another small argument ensued after that (something about Deanna always either taking everything too serious or not serious enough, and something about Sammy being both inconsiderate of Deanna and Cassie, and probably jealous that Cassie has openly admitted to liking Deanna more than her; which is when Samantha huffed in annoyance and got into the backseat of the Impala, and has stayed silent ever since).

And it  _would've_  been awkward between Sam and Dean, being caught in the sibling's argument, if they hadn't found themselves getting roped in and falling out as well. Dean was on Deanna's side, of course, and Sam on Samantha's, both of them fighting their girls points, which ended in them storming away from each other and getting into the car with scowls on their face.

And it doesn't help that they've been driving in silence for near enough the whole journey. The only time they broke their sulking silence was when Deanna put in one of Metallica's albums - y'know, the one Sammy hates - and then only proceeded to turn it up when both Samantha and Sam complained at them to turn it off.

Sam and Samantha went straight back to sulking after that, and Dean and Deanna kept the music loud, even though their ears were starting to get sore - it was the principle of the thing after all.

Needless to say, by the time they arrive at Bobby's, their moods haven't improved, but luckily, haven't gotten much worse.

'So, what was so important we had to come all the way back here, when we know the Demon's name and location?' Deanna demands the second she's through the door, walking into the house and dumping down the duffle bag that contained mostly Dean's clothes, buts she needed something to carry the second Samantha left the car with a "finally" and a glare at Deanna, and yeah, she needed something to hold before she started throwing punches.

Sure, she loves her sister, but it definitely isn't the first time Samantha's pissed her off, and it most certainly wouldn't be the first time that's she punched her sister on her face because of the stupid things she does - like the way she thinks or talks or just… the way she  _is._

'Yeah, seems a bit pointless if you ask me.' Dean adds as he comes to stand beside Deanna, and even though both Bobby and Bobbie are more interested on explaining  _exactly_ why they asked their boys and girls to come back instead of hunting the Demon down straight away, they certainly don't miss the way that they're acting.

Before they left, Dean and Sam were their usual selves, and the same went for Deanna and Samantha. Only interested in each other and just found their opposite-gender-equivalent nothing but  _weird_. But now, here they were, pairing off with them instead of their siblings. It definitely isn't what they normally do. The Winchester's don't trust anyone that isn't family; whether that's the blood family or adopted family, they did  _not_ trust anyone that wasn't family.

And okay, Bobby realise that  _technically_ Dean and Deanna, and Sam and Samantha  _are_ family in  _some_ way. It's not the kind of family that they normally latch themselves to.

But yet, here they were. Dean was paired off with Deanna, and Sam and Samantha were standing in their own little part of the room as well.

Bobby says nothing about it though, neither does Deanna's Bobbie, because they know that they'll just get some witty, sarcastic reply and get told it was "nothing". After all, it can't be that bad of a thing, can it? It's about time that they get to know - and hell, maybe like, respect and love - themselves.

Instead of the self-loathing, self-hatred crap that both Bobby and Bobbie always have to put up with.

'Well, I guess in some ways, there's been a bit of a change of plans…' Bobby declares and he trails off when the sound of heels clanking against the kitchen floor comes, but they fall silent when they come onto the carpet of the library.

''Cause of that, right there.' Bobbie adds and the four of them frown for a moment before following their gaze, and their sight lands on a tall blonde woman, who's hair is cut into a pixie-style; fluffy and spiky. She's slim yet curvy, and there's a glimmer in her blue eyes that are framed by some soft lines.

The four of them continue to stare at her with frowns on their faces, and the woman sighs almost sarcastically and crosses her arms over her chest. Her hips pop as she shifts her weight over to her left side and she tuts, shaking her head.

'Girls, I'm a little insulted that you don't recognise me. Granted, this vessel isn't my normal one, but my  _spark_ isn't enough?'

Deanna and Samantha stare at her for a moment longer, because that kind of talking sounds familiar, so very familiar, but hell, they just can't place it.

But the second the woman rolls her eyes, something clicks in Deanna and her mouth falls open as her eyes widen.

'What?' Dean asks just as the woman says, 'Finally!'

Deanna shakes her head once before she shuts her mouth and blinks slowly once and then twice, before she decides to inform the rest of the room, who still haven't a clue about the woman staring at them with a smirk on her thin lips.

'It's Balthazar.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balthazar wants Cassie to come back to fight in their civil war, and naturally, Deanna's a little pissed off about that. And Dean's not too pleased about it either, especially when Cas starts talking about it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW I said that this wouldn't be updated until after NaNo, but I've gotten so much positive feedback lately that I just need to repay you with an update; I felt too bad when I said the next update wouldn't be until December, so here I am!
> 
> Okay, I don't want to keep you waiting any longer, so here we go! ;D

Deanna continues to stare at Balthazar with wide eyes, unable to understand why the hell he... well, she was here and in _this_ particular vessel _._

'I thought your Balthazar was a snarky British dude as well?' Dean enquires as he too regards Balthazar with wide eyes. Truthfully, he can kind of see a resemblance between their guy and this woman. There was a similarity in their eyes and even hair, and this woman was also very clearly British if the accent was anything to go by; Balthazar very clearly had a type of vessel, that's for sure.

'He  _used_  to be! Don't ask me what the hell happened! Ask him... her!' Deanna snaps, not liking the accusing tone in Dean's voice one bit.

Dean turns his gaze on to the female Balthazar with a raised eyebrow.

'She  _is_  telling the truth. Unlike Cassie who picked a female vessel so Deanna and Samantha were more likely to trust her, I picked the same vessel from this world - after calling in a few favours of course - but when news spread that _the_ Winchester girls had found themselves in a gender-swapped universe, well, I had to get involved!'

Deanna rolls her eyes, taking a step closer to the Angel, a sceptic look on her face.

'You expect me to believe that you came all this way just so you could be a chick for a day? Trust me, I know what it's like and it ain't fun. Not to mention, I  _know_ you, you're a stuck up, self centred bastard, Balthazar, you loved that vessel. Why are you really here?'

Balthazar smirks at her and even though it's a different vessel, Deanna still thinks of it as familiar; she knows it's weird, but it's just the way her lips turn up at the edges, a barely there smirk that's still as taunting as the normal vessel.

'No, you're right dear, this vessel is merely my desire to try out something new; but I'll be back to normal for you by the time you get back,' he reassures and Deanna rolls her eyes once more, stepping away from him again as she goes to stand beside Dean once more.

'Thank God! I was being to panic there!' Deanna retorts, sarcasm dripping in her voice before she pretends to wipe sweat of her forehead. 'That's a weight off my mind; we may not get back, we may not track down this Demon, but  _thank God_ that Balthazar will be back into his original vessel!'

'Sarcasm never suits you, Winchester,' Balthazar replies, crossing her arms over her chest. 'But you're right, I'm here for a more important reason that to try being a woman for a day; I'm actually here to see the Angel in the trench coat that's in love with you.'

Deanna grinds her teeth together as the Angel says that; it's not the first time Balthazar has ever muttered that Cassie was "in love" with Deanna. Every time she does the same thing; grind her teeth together, cross her arms defensively over her chest and glare at Balthazar, all the whilst fighting back the immediate reaction to say "she's an Angel! Why would she love someone like  _me_?" because that would just prove that… good  _God_  she needs to stop  _thinking_ all together!

'What do you want with Cassie this time?' Samantha chimes in for the first time since they got back; she's never really liked the Angel anyway, but she hoped never to see him, well her for now, again after Samantha turned to him for tips on how to stop Deanna from putting her soul back into her body; after she tried to kill Bobbie.

Matricide. How stupid could she have been?

'She's been following after you like a lost puppy,' Balthazar sneers, her eyes landing on Samantha briefly before landing on Deanna. 'Well, following  _you_  about like a lost pup is more like it. She's forgetting what mess she's left back home; you two are big girls and can take care of yourself, so, she needs to get her ass back home and start fixing the mess before Raphael follows you through to this universe and you've got two dickheads to deal with.'

Deanna takes a moment to think that over, the possibility that Raphael could come through to this universe if he got wind of Team Free Will being here. He could team up with the universe's one and hunt them down, and it's bad enough fighting one Archangel, never mind two.

And okay, this may not be the best outcome but this is Balthazar saying this and she's yet to be okay with anything Balthazar says, whether it sounds true or not.

'Well, you're wasting your time. Cassie doesn't follow us around and she's not here. So, you need to go somewhere else to find her, because I don't want to look at you anymore.'

Balthazar chuckles, another familiar sound even though the Angel now inhabits a completely different vessel and Deanna's getting too comfortable and too used to shit like this.

'Don't lie, Deanna, I know you enjoy ogling me.'

Deanna frowns, 'Yeah, maybe a little with your old vessel, but that doesn't stop the fact that you're a dick and I can't stand you. Now, piss off, Balthazar, Cassie's not here and she's not going to show any time soon.'

And just like what happens all the time; just when Deanna states something so obvious and ultimate like that about Cassie, she always choses that exact moment to appear out of nowhere. The faint rustling sound from behind her; the sound that's she's got so used to hearing and has actually looked forward to hearing alerts her to the fact that Cassie has appeared behind her.

And Balthazar's smug little smirk definitely confirms that for her.

She grits her teeth together because she thinks Cassie just listens in for these moments, just to prove Deanna wrong. Yeah, but people still think the Angel  _loves_ her. Pfft.

'You were saying, darling?' Balthazar's smirk widens and Deanna is suddenly tempted to punch it off, but she knows what happens when you try to punch an Angel. It never ends well for her; hell, she'd definitely get a broken hand this time, she has a feeling Balthazar wouldn't turn his head with her punch to lessen the impact like Cassie did those years ago.

True, it still hurt like hell, but at least she didn't break or even fracture anything.

'Shut it.' Deanna reply meekly, turning around to face Cassie and it's then she finally realises that she's came with Cas as well, and she can't help but wonder what they talk about. Do they talk about their Winchesters? Do they talk about Dean and Deanna? Hell, do they talk at all? She knows Cassie is quite fond of just sitting in silence; just being in Deanna's presence, but she has no idea if that's a "profound bond" type thing, or just a Cassie thing in general.

She's tempted to ask but she knows Cassie won't tell her.

'Balthazar,' Cassie greets. 'What happened to your old vessel?'

She tilts her head in that Cassie way of her, looking like a confused pup and okay, Deanna's starting to see why Balthazar said she followed Deanna and Samantha around like a lost pup. With the head tilt, those wide blue eyes, she did look like an adorable little pup and…  _adorable_? Jesus, where the hell did that come from?

'He's back in our universe, carefully tucked away so no Angels or Demons get their hands on him. I just wanted a little change.' He smirks, giving a small chuckle. 'Now, are you coming back or are you chasing after Thelma and Louise here?'

'Hey!' Both Samantha and Deanna snap but no-one listens to their protests, even as they look around the room hoping someone will stand up for them, but everyone is too focused on the exchange between Cassie and Balthazar.

Though, Deanna is certain he sees a grin pull at Dean's lips and she makes a note to bring that up later, and maybe give him a firm punch for it.

'Helping Deanna and Samantha is always more important, my old friend,' Cassie declares and Deanna feels something stir in her stomach, something leaps towards her friend, her Angel, but she ignores it. Probably just some indigestion anyway. She also doesn't miss the way Balthazar's face falls slightly, as if that's not the response he was expecting. 'But, I will go back with you.'

It's now Deanna's face that falls and she knows for a fact that's not the response she was expecting.

'What?' She demands before she can stop herself, moving forward to grab ahold of Cassie's hand as if that'll suddenly stop her from flying off with that dick; as if it'll make her change her mind.

There's a hint of sadness behind Cassie's eyes, but it could just be a trick of the light. She's starting to think Cassie can't feel sadness or regret.

'I have been away for a long time, Deanna. I cannot put it off any longer. You have the Demon's name; you do not need my help anymore.'

What are you talking about? Deanna wants to ask. I'll always need you; just because we know the Demon's name doesn't mean I don't want you by my side. Don't leave me, Cassie. We're family; family stick together.

Instead, she opts for a sneer, thrusting Cassie's hand from her hold, before hissing, 'Fine. Do you what you want. Go ahead and leave, Cassie, that's what you do anyway.'

She knows it's not what she wants to say; not even close. Knows that she's pushing Cassie away instead of pulling away like she wants to, but she can't deal with it. She can't deal with the fact that she's finally spending more time with Cassie and she's just going to  _leave_ again.

She's also knows it's selfish of her, and that scares her because Deanna's not a selfish person; she's never been a selfish person. She gave up her childhood to look after her younger sister, and when Samantha finally left her, she dedicated her life to saving other people before Samantha came back into her life and she's used the majority of her adulthood looking after her sister and doing the family business with her.

But Cassie… Cassie is the one thing she feels selfish about; gets upset when she's not around, gets annoyed when people say she doesn't care about Cassie, gets extremely pissed when she watches people try and hurt her Angel, and can't even describe the feelings she gets when they actually succeed in their attempts of injuring Cassie.

'Deanna…' Cassie starts, trailing off because this is another thing Cassie does; she doesn't like leaving Deanna after an argument, likes to make sure things are okay before she flies off. It never used to be like this, she just disappeared when Deanna started getting pissy with her, but now, now she likes to make sure she's forgiven.

'No!' Deanna snaps, turning around to face Cassie once more, all thoughts of not pushing the Angel away but pulling her closer evaporating as soon as Cassie says her name. 'You  _always_ do this! You always run away at the last minute! Then you have the cheek to act hurt when I'm not ecstatic when you show up! Because you  _leave_ , Cassie! That's just what you do and I'm tired of it. So, go, the rest of us will hunt down this Demon and get back to our own world by ourselves.'

She turns her back on her the Angel once more, before she can't take being in the same room as her and storms into the kitchen for a beer and okay, maybe it's not the best decision, but at least it's a beer and not something stronger… though now she's thought of it, she really could go a whiskey now.

She hears the flutter of wings but she still doesn't turn, opening the bottle and throwing the cap onto the counter, taking a sip with her back still on them.

She doesn't even turn when Cas starts up, 'I think I should go as well.'

'Why do you need to go?' Dean asks and Deanna sighs, because it's going to happen again. No wonder Samantha teases her about her feelings towards the Angel, seeing as this is how she reacts; even her male counterpart does it!

'For the same reasons that Cassie just explained, Dean.' Cas tries to reason but Dean just scoffs, and even though Deanna's not facing them, she can tell that he's shaking her head; that's what she'd be doing after that piss-poor excuse.

'Y'know what? You go too, just take heed of what Deanna said, because you're just as bad as Cassie.' Dean snaps before coming through to join Deanna and the rustle of wings is enough to make them away that no Angel is now in their house.

But they don't care and they're still too busy fuming inside their heads that they don't even bother to snap at Sam when he whistles low and says, 'There's trouble in paradise.'

Dean and Deanna turn their heads and meet each other's gaze, because they have to admit there's a little bit of truth in that statement. Though, they've never known paradise so they can't say there's trouble in paradise, but more like there's trouble in their own personal hell. It's getting worse as days go on; as feelings double and intensify with every passing minute; as Cas and Cassie slowly stop being a constant in their lives and more of mystery; as they begin to wonder why the hell they let the Angel in if they were just going to be let down in the long run.

Deanna sighs and shakes her head, deciding to down the bottle of beer that she holds in her hand before setting the empty bottle down on the counter. A moment later, Dean's is sat down next to it.

She turns her head back to him and raises a questioning eyebrow, to which he nods his head.

They both turn back to face their family, walking back into the library with fake smirks on their faces, hiding the disappointment that their friend won't be here and probably won't be back until they're in their own universe.

But they try not to let it bother them because they've got more important things to be dealing with, like right now, they've got a Demon to be hunting down, and if they're honest a hunt is just what they need right now, because that's something they know how to do; they know how to do that well without any second guessing.

This is what they were made to do; they weren't made to have a family - they're time with Lisa and Luis proved that. They were made to hunt.

They may suck at being siblings; at being the good son or daughter, but they were damn good hunters.

And that's what gives them the confidence to turn and ask the question their family probably saw coming anyway.

'Who wants to hunt a Demon?'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites
> 
> Now, this will definitely be the last chapter until after NaNo is finished. I'm at 35,000 words already, so I don't have long to go. I've also come to the realisation that this story is only go to have like three or four more chapters! I know, but I can't draw it out any longer.
> 
> Anyway, I think that's all I need to say, so PLEASE review! And don't forget I have a Facebook Page if you want to like that for any updates. I'll be posting a preview to my NaNo story there soon, which is a Supernatural/Harry Potter crossover fic. So, if you're interested in that story, let me know! It should be up soon! ;D
> 
> ~Charlotte.x


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally summon the Demon.

They know why they're doing this; they're doing it to put their fight with Castiel to the back of their minds. It's not exactly the best coping method, summoning a Demon when they're not totally in their own mind, half of their thoughts are about their Angel, and then the other half are focused on their counterparts Angel.

They trust Bobby and Bobbie, and Sam and Samantha to get everything ready and organised, because they just sit back and do nothing. They don't even make a comment when Bobby says that they're being useless and that they're not there to just sit around looking pretty. It surprises everyone when they don't even get a roll of their eyes in reply and that's when Bobby decides to just let them sit and stew.

It doesn't help that the one thing they wanted to do the most - get in the Impala and  _hunt_ the Demon down,  _force_ it to send the girls back - was immediately ruled out the second they asked if the others wanted to hunt a Demon. Of course they weren't going to let Dean and Deanna have their fun; of course they weren't going to let them go off on a hunt with their minds unfocused like they are; of  _course_ they're just going to summon the damn thing and let Dean and Deanna sit about like a pile of useless shit.

Then again, they wouldn't be feeling useless if they were actually  _hunting_ the damn Demon like they actually wanted to do!

They should've expected it really; Bobby and Bobbie hardly like the idea of Dean and Deanna hunting anyway, never mind when they are clearly upset and pissed and whatever feeling might be coursing through the young hunter's veins. The last thing they wanted was for their adopted children to go out on a hunt, unfocused and angry and hunt down a powerful Demon.

But it still doesn't stop Dean and Deanna from being pissed when they took the Impala's keys off them and hid them somewhere so that neither Dean or Deanna could find them. Not that they didn't try; they searched their adopted home high and fucking low for a sight of the keys for their baby, but to no avail.

 _That's_ when the sulking started.

'We'd have caught the Demon by now.' Deanna mutters as she moves off the desk so Bobbie can pull out… whatever the hell that was, Deanna was  _not_ about to ask. 'We would've been back in our own universe five hours ago.'

'Did you finally decide to come out of that pretty little head of yours, Princess?' Bobbie snaps instead as she crushes the things she just got from the desk and adds it to the bowl. 'Why don't you quit complaining and hand me that bottle there, if you're finally deciding to help.'

Deanna grinds her teeth together but grabs the bottle off the desk and presses it into Bobbie's waiting palm with a forced smile on her lips. Why are they acting like they weren't going to help? The whole point was  _distracting_ themselves from their minds, it's half the reason they wanted to hunt the thing down instead of summoning it! It was the four of them that just ignored Dean and Deanna as if they weren't there; as if they needed to be tiptoed around.

And now here they are getting the blame for it! Talk about fair.

Dean looks around himself, deciding to not comment on Bobbie's comment either, when he notices something off about the room; it's missing its two giants.

'Where's Sam and Samantha?' Dean enquires, once again deciding not to think about how easy it's gotten to fit the girls into their lives like this. He could've just said "Sam" because they're both Sams, just from different universes, but no, no, no, Dean couldn't do that. Dean had to say "Sam and Samantha"; he doesn't know how he's gonna react when they go back to their own universe and he's left alone again… it was nice having someone who shared his problems.

Sure, they didn't talk about them, but just knowing someone else  _knew_ about them and shared the guilt and pain and worry… it really was a weight off his mind is some weird, fucked up way. But that's just their life, right?

'Away doing a little more research on the limited knowledge we have about universe jumping. When this son of a bitch appears, we need to convince it to get you three back to your universe, so they reckoned we needed to know more about it incase it tried to trick us.' Bobby answers before he throws a can of bright red spray paint to Dean, who catches it out of reflex. 'Now, paint a Devil's Trap here so it's caught as soon as it arrives.'

Dean purses his lips and says nothing, hopping off the desk and moving over to start painting the Devil's Trap on the solid wood floor. Deanna watches him but Bobbie eventually ropes her into helping her prepare the summoning ritual; not that either of them are complaining.

Their minds are finally clear from Cas and Cassie; even if it is just temporary.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

Deanna sighs, blowing a strand of her blonde hair out of her face; she normally doesn't like any loose strands falling from her bun, but right now, she can't bring herself to care.

'When the hell will Demon's learn about punctuality?' She snaps as she sits down the knife that she had been twirling back and forth on Bobby's table.

'Well, y'know, they want to hunt you two down, make deals, avoid Angels, killing innocent people and such… but I'm sure being punctual to the summoning of the four people that want to stick that dagger in their back is their top priority.' Bobby rolls his eyes and Deanna just shakes her head at his sarcastic reply and turns away from him, her eyes locking with Dean who just rolls his eyes at her in a different manner that has her huffing out a small laugh.

No-one asks her what she's laughing at.

By the time one hour passes, Deanna's ready to give up, or maybe already has given up, she's not really sure anymore. She's moved from her sitting position on the desk to the couch, lying splayed out with an arm thrown over her face and Dean's jealous that she did it first because now he's just sitting on the floor beside her, his head tilted back and resting on the sofa, the top of his head grazing Deanna's thigh.

A moment later, however, she bolts upright and turns her head to the spot where they planted the Devil's Trap, where the summoning took place.

She frowns when there's no-one there and her movement wasn't noticeable enough to attract anyone else's attention except Dean's.

She shakes her head at him to tell him it was nothing before she lies back down, a frown still on her face and her eyes keep flickering over to the spot as if waiting for someone to randomly appear. She was  _certain_  she heard a noise; the noise of someone appearing.

Maybe it was just wishful thinking.

She closes her eyes.

Five minutes pass when there's a wooshing sound that grabs everyone's attention this time and they turn to the alter where all the summoning equipments still sits, but there's still no-one there. They turn and look amongst themselves, because that sound was definitely the sound that comes with a Demon just randomly popping into their room after being summoned.

Once could definitely pass as wishful thinking on Deanna's behalf, but this… everyone heard it this time and that's just too much of a coincidence to be anything other than a Demon appearing.

They're distracted once more from their thoughts when a chuckle sounds from the space and when they all look up, there's finally another person in the room with a smirk on their plump lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites
> 
> This chapter just did not want to be written. I've been working on it for AGES, since I posted Chapter 10 really, and this is all that's came out of it. I'm sorry it's mediocre but I just need to get into the swing of posting again! So, I hope you enjoy it, despite the filleryness of it!
> 
> Oh! And I'm thinking there'll only be three more chapters left! So, yeah, this story is coming to an end soon! But my Harry Potter/Supernatural crossover will take its place! So look forward to that!
> 
> Oh! And if you're on tumblr, you'll know it's Deancest December... well, I'm going to write something for it, based on this story. Remember Chapter 8 where Dean propositions Deanna? Yeah, well it'll be an AU for that chapter that ends very VERY differently! ;p


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could Deanna, Samantha and Bobbie finally be getting home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! I'm back with another chapter for you all!! Also, I wrote two porn one-shots for Deancest December: 
> 
> One is called [Only My Comfort Shall Suffice](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1094266) which is an AU to Chapter 8 of this story. 
> 
> The other is called [Desire for Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1112404) which is just PWP. ;D
> 
> If you want to read them, have fun!!

They all stare at the Demon, unable to believe that it's actually  _there_ , standing in front of them. The reason the girls are here; the reason so many feelings that they've all tried so hard to bury came hurtling back to them.

Deanna is the first to speak, and it's nothing but a sneer, 'You're the son of a bitch that did this to us?  _You_?'

'Oh darling, you say that as if we've had the pleasure of meeting before. You don't want to send the wrong idea to your beloved little friends.' The Demon, Maria, replies as her black eyes flicker over to Dean, Sam and Bobbie, before they land back on Deanna. 'I thought you were  _finally_ making friends!'

She goes to take a step forward only to be brought up short. She looks down and notices the Devil's Trap, and she lets out a groan of annoyance.

'You have  _got_ to be kidding me.' She declares as she turns her eyes back to Deanna, who realises that they're a bright blue colour now that the Demon's black eyes have disappeared. Not as blue as Cassie's, she thinks, but definitely bright anyway.

'You're not getting out until you send me, my sister and my aunt back to my world.'

'Until I send you back? You're little monkey friends will just kill me once I've done that.' Maria sneers, her eyes flickering over to Sam and Bobby, before they land and stay on Dean. 'I'm doing nothing until I get out of this.'

Deanna turns her head and locks eyes with Dean, raising her eyebrow in a silent question and when he nods and moves to pick up his knife that Ruby gave him, Deanna starts to move towards the Devil's Trap. She vaguely notices everyone else pick up a shotgun, preparing themselves to protect Deanna as she leans down and scrapes away the bright red paint with the edge of the knife's blade.

As soon as the Devil's Trap is broken, she jerks upwards and away from the Demon, not wanting to not have her eyes on it, even when she knows her family has her back.

'So, here's what you're going to do,' Dean starts. 'You're going to send the girls back to their universe, and not be a little  _dick_ about it. Then, we may let you go.'

Maria chuckles as she steps out of the Trap and then moves no further.

'You think I'm going to do that? There is no way in Hell I am sending those three back with their beloved Angel so they can fuck up the world again.' She sneers, her eyes landing on Deanna once more. 'Are you getting used to it, pretty eyes? I bet you're both wishing you had said "yes" to Michael and Lucifer, now.'

'You really are simple and delusional bitch, aren't you? My time here has been fucking superb. Screw you, if you think I'd go back and change a fucking thing about my decision.' Deanna declares, taking a step forward so she's standing directly in front of the Demon. 'Thanks to you, I've started to come to terms with myself, my sister and my Angel. I bet you didn't expect that, did you?'

Deanna's smirking by the time she finishes, and it widens when she sees Maria grind her teeth together and huffs in anger. The Demon takes a step closer but Deanna raises her knife and the others raise their weapons as well in warning.

Maria stops short and Deanna backs away from her, the cocky grin still on place.

'Let's put it this way,  _Maria_ , it'd be in your best interest to send them back, because we have  _two_ Angels full of wrath because of this, I have a feeling that sending them back would be your safest, less painful option.' Dean grins and Maria's vivid blue eyes snap towards him.

'Threatening me will get you nowhere. Believe me, Winchester, your Angels do not scare me.' She hisses as she turns and rounds on Dean, who doesn't flinch but his hand does tighten on his dagger, ready to stab her if she got too close or tried to attack him. 'Besides, the last time I checked your beloved Angels were fixing their mess in Heaven. I doubt they'd drop everything and run to you.'

Dean's jaw clenches but when he notices Deanna move, the knife grasped firmly in her hand, he smirks as he realises just what she's up to.

'Tell me, what's to stop us from running you through?' Dean enquires as he decides to distract them Demon as Deanna comes to stand behind it, just incase things went a little south.

Maria smirks, all teeth at Dean's comment and she chuckles.

'Oh, only the chance of getting your  _darling_ Deanna back to her universe. I'm the only thing that can do that, Winchester, don't you forget that. If you run me through, her and her pathetic family are going to have to stay here. If you run me through, there is no chance of getting them back to their own universe.' Maria declares before she chuckles. 'Empty threats, my dear, much like that head of yours.'

Dean snarls but before he can do anything, Deanna exclaims, 'I dunno, I still like the idea anyways,  _darling_.'

Dean grabs Maria's arms and pins them to her side just as Deanna thrusts the dagger forward and into her back. Maria screams loud, before she groans in pain as Deanna twists the knife still embedded in her back as shocks course through the Demon, the thing inhabiting the poor woman dying from Deanna's knife.

It lets out one last strangled cry before Deanna pulls the knife from its back and lets it slump to the ground.

They all stare at the Demon's dead body, lying on the ground, face down and not stirring. Deanna's panting hard because she really had no intentions of stabbing the bitch in the back; after all, how was she going to get home now? She only seems to realise this now, though, and she sighs and lifts her head, looking to Bobbie who's shoulders are sagged as if she knows they just blew their last chance, and then to Sammy, who's still staring at the Demon's dead body.

Her eyes flicker to the guy versions before they land on Dean, a questioning and pleading look upon her face; she needs someone to tell her what to do; that she made the right decision to kill the fucking thing that's screwed their life up so much.

'You could just stay here.' Dean murmurs, not taking his eyes off Deanna even as everyone else's heads snap towards him, frowning at him or looking at him in surprise. 'Sure, it'd be a little weird but, c'mon, it's not like we haven't dealt with weirder, and it's not like you wouldn't fit in either...'

'Sure you want another fucked up mind to worry about?' Deanna attempts to joke but she's looking at him with  _hope_. Not because she wants to stay here, but because it means that if they can't get back, she knows they won't turn their back on her and Sammy.

'We could just pray for Cassie.' Sammy offers with a shrug of her shoulders. 'Though, that might be too much for her to manage.'

'It's not like you'd be leaving much behind,' Dean starts again and Deanna turns back to him, her gaze previously shifted to Sammy with the very idea of praying for Cassie, but she knows that moving all three of them back to their universe would take it out of her; she doesn't want to do that to her Angel. 'Same fucked up world we live in; not much worth going back for, eh?'

Deanna can see what he's doing; she knows he's lying to her just to make her feel better; that's what they do. They lie or say whatever the person needs to hear in order to make them feel better, even if they know it's nothing but bullshit they're spinning.

Deanna knows him, knows  _herself_ too well to be fooled by it. She gives him a grin and a one shouldered shrug.

'You think I'm leaving behind the world I let my sister go to Hell to protect? I fought tooth and nail to keep it out of those fucking Angel and Demon's hands, I ain't about to let it go to Hell just 'cause I want to stay in this 'verse.' Deanna gives him a wider grin and shakes her head in amusement; she's really saying these words? 'Thanks for the offer though, big boy.'

Dean laughs and Deanna can do nothing but send him a wink in reply.

Sammy clears her throat,'I hate to interrupt your shameless flirting, but should the body be doing  _that_?'

Dean and Deanna frown as their eyes flicker over to Samantha, who's pointing a finger at the Demon's dead and lifeless body. Their frowns deepen as they turn their eyes away from Deanna's sister and turn to the Demon lying on the ground.

The frowns fall off their face as their eyes widen when they see the sight before them. The Demon's body is glowing, pulsing a deep red colour. The tanned skin of the woman the Demon possessed starts off normal, grows redder until it's almost  _neon_ and then it fades back to her normal skin tone.

'I have a feeling the answer is "no".' Dean declares as he debates whether or not to take a step closer to the body and examine it, but when the glowing starts to get faster; spending more time being a bright red than a beautiful tan colour, he decides that it's probably not the best idea.

'I think we should get out of here.' Bobby declares and they all mutter in agreement, turning to leave the room.

However, before they even manage to turn their bodies towards the door, there's an explosion of bright red light. It engulfs the room they stand in, a gust of wind passing through and shattering the windows of Bobby's house, as well as the lightbulbs, lamp shades and empty whiskey bottles. Warm heat passes through each of them as well, a deep buzzing feeling filling their bones like electricity. It's nothing like either of them have experience; every nerve and bone humming with the pressure of warmth and if it lasts much longer, it's going to be _painful_. But even with this - with the wind and the pressure and the heat -  they remain standing firmly in their place; not being blown backwards like they expected.

When the light fades, everyone slowly opens their eyes, having closed them when the gust of wind shot through the room and the heat consumed them. They turn to survey the damage, but as they look around themselves, the realise that something is missing from the room - or rather, three bodies are missing from the room.

'Where's Deanna?' Dean questions, when he notices that she isn't there, nor is Bobbie or Samantha. His eyes flicker over to Sam and Bobby, who both wear deep, concerned frowns on their faces but when they catch Dean's eyes, they don't have an answer for him, and all they can do is shrug in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the girls get home and Deanna realises just how much her visit changed her

Deanna's arms come up to shield her eyes as the bright light sweeps through the room. Her green eyes slam shut and she curls in on herself, fearing what this will do to her. Heat courses through her body; not a scorching pain like she expected but a nice, almost calming warmth. It seeps into her pores, seeps into her nerves and veins, calms her down and loosens her up, even though there's a good chance she won't actually open her eyes again - won't see her family again. Real or different gendered.

Despite the warmth passing through her, a gust of wind blows through the room and that should've sent a chill up and down her spine, should've made her hairs stand on end and sent her teeth clattering for a second or two. Instead, it does nothing but blow her blonde hair back and out of her face, strands caressing her neck as they're forced away from her body.

Time seems to have slowed down; things aren't passing the way they should. That explosion should've lasted a second; Deanna, Dean, Sammy, everyone should've got thrown away from the Demon's body with the sheer force it, or even died seeing if it's like an Angel's death. Something in Deanna's mind tells her something is wrong - tells her that she should not still be standing, that things should  _not_ be passing by this slowly; moments lasting longer than they normally would.

Soon enough, the gust of wind passes. The bright red light that seems permanently scorched into the back of her eyelids disappears, leaving the room dark and dingy and cold once more. But there's light coming from somewhere, which isn't right. She heard the sound of glass shattering, saw the room go dark before it was filled with nothing but red light.

Deanna frowns and finally opens her eyes, lowering her arm from its place shielding her eyes, green eyes surveying the room before widening when she realises something surprising.

'We're back!' She exclaims, turning to look at Bobbie and Sammy, who are just slowly wearily opening their eyes with a frown on their faces. They look around the room, and find it exactly the same like the one they were in before; books littering the room which is still lying in disarray, with random pieces of paper all over the place and parts for potions and spells everywhere, in the most discreet and hidden ways.

The ugly 70s wallpaper still adorns the walls, which are damp and just a tiny bit mouldy but it's solid and it's home for the three of them. It's weird how she just  _knows_ that she's home, especially when Bobby's house was exactly the same, but this... this is her home and she'd know it anywhere, no matter how similar any other room may appear.

'How is that possible?' Sammy questions as she takes a hesitant step forward, looking around herself and then to the centre of the room, where the Demon's dead body used to lie. Deanna bites her lip and feels bad for the guys, seeing as they have to tidy up her mess and bury the body. That's hardly fair, seeing as it was  _their_ Demon, but then again, they probably won't mind.

'I have a feeling that bright windy warm light thing that exploded from the Demon did it.' Deanna answers with a grin and a wink, as she too steps forward to the spot where the Demon's body previously occupied and crouches down, pressing her fingers to the spot as if there was a portal there. She sighs when she realises that there's no way she's going to get back or get to explain where they had went to Dean.

For all they knew, that explosion killed them. They could be worried or in Dean's case, guilty. She needs a way to let them know they got back safe and sound, that things are okay now and that… that she was actually going to miss him.

It's stupid and weird that she honestly thinks that she'll… no, that she  _knows_ she'll miss him. There was something nice, something almost safe about having someone to talk to. She wasn't lying when she told him that she wanted to stay in his 'verse. She never would have, though, being selfish is never something Deanna can do without feeling the guilt weighing on her shoulders. Hell, that's the reason she left Luis and Bethany.

She knows what Sammy thinks; knows that she thinks she just stopped caring or was being selfish or that she didn't want them anymore and got tired, hell, she knows that Sammy thinks Deanna felt all of those things, and that's the reason she got Cassie to clear Luis' and Bethany's memories. But it was the complete opposite.

She  _loved_ them. They were her family for a year - could see them being her family until the day she died. It wasn't because Sammy came back that she abandoned them, she just knew what that meant. She couldn't get out of hunting because she couldn't bear to let her baby sister hunt by herself, or with that bastard Samuel. And she couldn't put the man she loved and the child she wished was hers in danger like that. Deanna fooled herself for a month or two; pretended she could do both. Be a hunter and then go back to a home and family, but after the far too close brush with Vampirism, she realised she couldn't.

And the Demon abduction came and it was the final straw. She needed to do right by them, needed to save them, and that meant wiping their memories and forgetting about them. Sammy could say what she wants, think what she wants, think that Deanna was just being a selfish heartless bitch, but she wasn't. She wasn't going to let those two amazing, beautiful and kind people die for her.

Deanna shakes her head, closing her eyes and she lets out a shaky breath. Thoughts like that are supposed to be buried deep down and forbidden to arise. She should've known that something like this would bring up hard feelings like this again.

After all, it's brought up all those questions about Cassie that she fought so fucking hard to bury.

'I don't think you're going to get back, even if you do rip up my floorboards.' Bobbie's voice sounds from behind her and Deanna's eyes fly open, her head jerking around to look at her, hair falling into her face in the process.

Deanna rolls her eyes and stands, combing a hand through her blonde locks to push it out her face once more, and she mutters, 'I just feel bad that they're probably worrying right now. I mean, wouldn't you be panicking?'

Bobbie shrugs, 'Not really.'

She turns her back on her adoptive daughter and heads through to do a quick survey of the house, wanting to make sure that everything is still in place and that no-one broke in and stole anything whilst she was away. Though she honestly doubts that - who would come near her house anyway? It looks abandoned as is.

Deanna frowns as she watches her go and her eyes flicker around the room once more, taking everything in and finding it rather disconcerting when she notices that everything is  _exactly_ the same as the other universe. How was that possible? For the only thing to have changed was their genders? Everything, right down to Bobbie's library, was exactly the same! It was rather mind boggling.

Her emerald green eyes land on a set of keys and her eyes widen.

' _Baby_!' She exclaims before she dives forward and grabs the keys off the table they were sat on, before she turns on her heel and runs outside, heading straight for the sleek black car, looking out of place amongst the beaten, rusted shells of automobiles that surrounded her.

Deanna's calloused and rough hands glide along her baby's black body, fingers dipping and tracing her curves with a soft, fond smile on her face. The sweat and dirt and dried blood on her fingers leave smudges on the shiny body of the car, but she doesn't care.

She hears someone walk up behind her, and she just knows it's Samantha. There's something about the way the scuffs sound against the ground that just screams Samantha to her.

'Y'know, I've come to realise that whilst everything in that universe  _looked_ the exact same, it  _wasn't_ the same.' Deanna declares when she feels her sister stop directly behind her. She doesn't turn around, but instead presses both of her hands on the Impala, framing the driver's mirror as she bows her head. 'I mean, I heard those damn legos rattle in their car and it didn't mean the same. I bet they have their initials carved into the car, and have your stupid toy soldier in the ashtray, but it doesn't mean the same. I wasn't lying when I said that the reason I wanted to come back was only because it's the world we risk our lives for.'

'Nobody thought you were lying, Dee.' Samantha replies, frowning at her sister's words.

Deanna rolls her eyes and lifts her head once more, her feet shuffling and scuffing against the ground. She pulls her hands away from the car, shaking her head as she turns around and faces her sister.

'Yeah, I know.' She mutters before she plasters a small grin on her face. Samantha gives her one back and before Deanna even knows what she's doing, trying to stop thinking about the total chick-flickness of this, she takes a step forward and pulls her sister into her arms, resting her chin on her shoulders. Sammy lets out a sound of surprise, before she laughs once and wraps her arms around Deanna in return, pulling her closer.

'We got back.' Deanna mutters into her sister's shoulder, before she pulls back and runs a hand through her hair, not really wanting to prolong the emotional hug any longer than she needed to.

Samantha goes to reply to her but Bobbie's voice comes before she can, 'Two dead three hours down the road. You two are the closest hunters in town; thought you might see it as a welcome back party.'

Deanna grins and rolls her eyes, looking across to Bobbie.

'I think a decent drink would've been better!' Deanna shouts back before following it up with a chuckle, she readjusts her hold on the keys, swinging them around her fingers before she slides it into the keyhole and turns it, unlocking Baby and then sliding into the driver's seat.

Sammy joins her a second later, and Deanna rolls down the window when Bobbie comes up and starts to tell them just what they're looking for and where they're going.

And when they've got all the information they need, Deanna turns the key, letting the Impala's engine roar into life before they take off down the road, leaving behind nothing but a cloud of dust.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

The hunt went by without a problem. A classic salt-n-burn that took two seconds once they figured out what spirit they were dealing with. They had planned on going straight back to Bobbie's, but being zapped from one universe to their own, and then doing a hunt really takes its toll, even if you are the infamous Winchester Sisters, so instead, they book into a hotel and call Bobbie to let them know they won't be home till tomorrow.

Deanna stares at herself in the mirror, glad she's got the motel room alone for what she's about to do, seeing as Sammy volunteered to go and pick up some food for them. The longer she looks at her reflection, the more her face shifts. The soft outline of her cheeks and jaw disappear, the feminine outline growing rougher. And yet, it still stays the same. There's still her eyes and her plump lips, and it's still her freckles that are scattered haphazardly over her face.

She thinks it's strange to miss him - after all, he was just her with a dick - but she did and she does, and perhaps that's why she's doing this. She takes a deep breath in before she lifts the scissors from their place on the sink; maybe it's the reason why she grabs her ponytail and pulls it until she can stick it in between the scissors; maybe it's why she snips and cuts and saws until she's holding her ponytail in one hand, and several other strands are strewn across the sink.

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, smirking to herself as she throws the cut hair in the small trashcan of the cheap motel room that she's in.

Dad would be pissed if he was still here; Sammy will be confused; Bobbie probably won't even notice, but she likes it, no, she  _loves_ it, because she's finally got the haircut she wanted since she was twelve-years-old, but her dad told her she wasn't allowed it, because girls were supposed to have long, fluffy hair and only boys have short hair, and any girl with short hair is probably a lesbian.

But Deanna is realising how wrong her dad was, and now, she finally has the hair she's wanted for such a long time; the hair that's suited for her life as a hunter.

And maybe it'll serve as a little reminder of Dean Winchester, or simply a reminder that she's herself and doesn't have to be Daddy's Blunt Instrument anymore. She has her own life, she doesn't need to live under the shadow of her father anymore.

It's weird that she didn't really see that before, and it's even weirder that she's only started seeing it after meeting Dean, but it's true.

She just wishes there was some way that she could let him know she got home safe, she owes him that much, right? She doesn't need to give him even more guilt.

'He knows you made it back safely, Deanna.' A voice that Deanna would recognise anywhere comes from behind her, and when Deanna moves her eyes to the place over her shoulder in the mirror, she sees Cassie standing there, hands buried deep in the pockets of her coat.

'How do you know?' She questions as she turns around, leaning against the sink. Cassie doesn't answer her, looks at the scissors resting on the sink and the hair that litters the bathroom, before her startling blue eyes land on Deanna and her new haircut. Deanna swallows and runs a hand through it, finding it surprisingly easy to get used to the fact she has nothing to sweep over her shoulder or enough her to really run her fingers through.

'I cut my hair,' she mutters, before she closes her eyes to hide the fact she rolls her eyes at her own stupidity. 'Anyway, how do you know he knows we got back home and didn't die?'

'I went back and told him.' Cassie explains as she walks closer to Deanna and when she can, she reaches up and runs a hand through her hair once, before she lets her hand drop by her side. 'I like it.'

Deanna clears her throat, tries not to squirm even though the grasp on the sink behind her tightens. 'Why did you do that? And thanks.'

'I knew it would mean a lot to you; knew you'd want to put his mind at ease.' Cassie shrugs as she takes a step back and shoves her hands back into her pockets. 'You're welcome. It's much more…  _you_.'

Deanna is rendered speechless for a second, before she clears her throat and looks away, breaking her green eyes away from Cassie's azure blue ones, and she replies, 'Thanks, Cassie. For everything,' she bites her bottom lip before she decides to just go for it; she just cut her hair off and is missing having her-as-a-man in the same room as her, now is not the time to worry about "normal" or "overstepping" or all those other stupid fucking things coursing through her mind. 'I don't know what I'd do with you.'

Cassie doesn't say anything, and looks more like she doesn't know what to do with Deanna's statement, and less like she's actually touched by what Deanna said. She's known for a long time the hunter means more to her than she ever thought possible, knows that somewhere, deep in Deanna's heart, there's something for Cassie in there as well, but she never thought she'd see the day where Deanna would actually say that she needs Cassie.

So, perhaps she's too shocked to say anything and then isn't allowed to say anything at all, when Sammy comes through the door and Deanna moves away from the sink and Cassie to go and get the food from her sister.

'I'll leave you two to eat.' Cassie declares, her voice betraying her and letting Deanna know that she doesn't really want to leave this time, and it occurs to Deanna that maybe all those other times she hadn't wanted to leave either, and was just waiting for her to say something.

Deanna takes a moment, biting her lip before she decides to be brave and test the theory, 'You don't need to. C'mon, we were gonna watch a movie and there's enough room on that couch for three.'

Cassie looks between Samantha, Deanna and the couch before her gaze fixes on Deanna once again.

'Are you sure?'

''Course I am,' she then digs into the bags that Sammy had in her hand and pulls out a burger. 'Even have your favourite, as well.'

Deanna grins when she sees the hunger in Cassie's gaze and then hands it over to her when she gets close enough.

'You two go and make yourself comfy, I'll be there in a minute.' Deanna orders, shoving her sister and her Angel over to the small pathetic couch, watching them go with a fond smile as they start talking about something that Deanna really doesn't care about.

She takes a moment, just watching the two of them talk and start to eat, Sammy still holding the bag with just Deanna's food in it, and she can't help but wonder if Dean, Sam and Cas are doing this right now, or if their visit didn't change anything for the boys.

She knows that visit has changed her so much and it's this thought that carries her over to the couch, taking the bag out of Sammy's hand before she plonks herself in between Cassie and Sammy, balancing the bag with her food in it on her lap, before wrapping her arms around their shoulders and pulling them in tight, ignoring Samantha's raised eyebrow and how perfectly Cassie fits into her side as she declares, 'I miss the boys, but honestly, this is just my perfect world.'

And as they hum in agreement with her, Sammy switching the TV on and Cassie taking a moment before resting her head on Deanna's shoulder, having already finished the burger, they realise just how true Deanna's words are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites
> 
> ahh!! just the epilogue to go now!! i can't believe i'm nearly finished this!! i need to write more fem!team free will after this!! i love them too much not to!!


	14. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two years later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now, this is the epilogue and it takes place two years after the last chapter, which would bring us to the end of Season 8... right? either way, it's at the end of Season 8 this takes place and in this 'verse, Season 9 doesn't take place because so far it's a monstrosity that deserves to be forgotten, and i'm not putting my bbys through that.

It's been two years. Two years since that Demon sent Deanna, Samantha, Bobbie and Cassie to an different universe; two years since Deanna realised that she exists somewhere as a Dean, that her whole entire family - everyone she loves has a male counterpart; nearly two years since she met him and realised that she needed to start living her own life.

She's been through a lot in those two years - betrayal, love, reunion, loss and making new friends.

She broke her heart when she found out Cassie was working with that bitch, Crowley to open Purgatory; watched her take in all those souls and then declare she was a new and better God. She shut down many bad organisations but killed too many people for Deanna to even try to forgive - not to mention the fact she broke Sammy's wall, letting hallucinations of Lucifer into her mind.

But then she was gone; taken over by Leviathan and just…  _gone_. Deanna grieved, her heart broken all over again because the last thing she saw of her Angel, of her best friend, was her skin cracking and bleeding, covered in someone else's blood, broken and defeated and weak. After that, it was just a bunch of Leviathan wearing her skin and wandering into the reservoir where all that was left of her was her dumb trench-coat.

Deanna grieved; Deanna cried herself to sleep more times than she is willing to admit, and definitely more times that she's willing to tell Sammy.

She witnessed seeing Cassie once again, brought back to life but this time with no memories of her past; just a human named Emmanuelle who could heal and help people but didn't know why. She was married, she looked happy, and yet instinctively, she trusted Deanna and went with her.

She befriended Meg; she lost Cassie again when she took on Samantha's problems; she found the Prophet of the Lord, Karen Tran, a dorky little fish-out-of-water that didn't like the weight suddenly placed on her shoulders. She met Charlie Bradbury, a computer genius who turned into the little brother she never wanted or thought of, but got anyways.

She witnessed the rise of Leviathan, witnessed their leader Dick Roman put a bullet in Bobbie's head - she lost the closest thing to a mother she's had since she was four-years-old - and she brought an end to their rule; she went to Purgatory with Cassie and met Bennie when she lost Cassie. They fought tooth and nail to get to her Angel, and then to get to the portal to get back home.

She left Cassie behind and brought Bennie back. Bennie went her own way and Cassie magically reappeared but she was different.

Sammy was doing the trials to shut the gates of Hell and was practically dying with every passing second, and Cassie was on her own mission that she didn't let Deanna in on. She lost her blood sister when she helped Sammy complete trial number two - another loved one she couldn't save.

She was nearly beaten to death by Cassie for reasons she still doesn't understand, but Heaven had a hold on her, which only broke when Deanna tried to get through to her, told her "I need you" and was one second away from saying the dreaded L-word.

Cassie went awol; her sister was dying; Bennie was back in Purgatory; Deanna was lost.

Then Cassie turned up, asking for help because she wanted to close the gates of Heaven to fix the relationship with the Angels, and she agrees to help, even when she realises that it means her friend, her Angel, her family is going to go into Heaven and the gates are going to shut behind her, and she's never gong to see her again; she might even  _die_ , but she helps her fulfil the second trial.

And that's how she finds herself here.

'Castiel!' She screams to the sky, as she watches lights stream across the midnight sky. She knows exactly what that is, but it can't be… no. She cradles Sammy in her arms, trying to ignore the fact she's screaming and writhing in pain.

'Wha-what's happening?' Sam enquires, gasping through the pain as she too watches the Angel's fall through the sky, their wings burning away from them, like a shooting star.

'The Angels… they're falling.' Deanna whispers in reply, finding it hard to believe it and she worries about Cassie, because has she Fell as well? What's become of her? Where is she? Is she even  _alive_? Surely not all of those Angels were survive? The impact will be too great, surely.

She can't think about it anymore when Samantha loses consciousness with a stuttered gasp, and the only thing Deanna can think of is pulling out her cellphone and dialling 911 for an ambulance, hoping it isn't too late; hoping she isn't losing her sister after all. That was the reason she stopped these fucking trials in the first place.

She can't lose Cassie and Sammy in the same night. She just can't.

~oOoOoOoOoOo~

Two weeks since the Angels fell and Deanna still hasn't heard a word from Cassie. She's tried ringing her on the mobile she insisted the Angel kept, but there's no answer. She's sorely tempted to go out and actually search the country looking for her, but she can't do that either, because Sammy still isn't well.

She can get up out of bed for small things like going to the toilet or eating, but otherwise, she's too weak to actually do anything else. Deanna stays by her side nearly all the time, only leaving when she tries calling Cassie once more, or turns on the news or the laptop to see if there's any sign of her.

Which is what she's doing now; searching for news. She sits at the table, feet propped up on the hard wooden surface. The laptop sits on her lap and there's a glass of whiskey in her hand. Her free hand moves up and down on the mousepad, surfing through news of what the media are calling an unplanned, unnatural meteor shower. Hah. If only they knew. Scientists are at a loss; some religions are claiming it to be an act of God, and that's when Deanna slams the laptop shut, 'cause it isn't some act of God, it's some douchebag transformer-named-Angel who cast all the other Angels from Heaven - and used her best friend to do it!

She sets the computer on the table, swinging her leg down as she drains the content of her glass, and just as she sets that down beside Sammy's beloved computer, there's a knock at the door.

Deanna frowns, her eyes trailing up the stairs to the large door, narrowing her eyes at it because who the Hell knows about the Man of Letter's Bunker? Only Karen, Sammy, Crowley - but the asshole is still in their dungeons, Deanna checked not fifteen minutes ago - and herself. Pretty much no-one else knows about this, except… her eyes widen when she realises who could be at the door, and she bolts upright, toppling the chair backwards in her haste.

She doesn't care, however, and quickly makes her way to the door, hands on the railing to help pull herself up the stairs when her legs are moving fast enough for her liking.

As soon as she can she unlocks the door and throws it open, and her breath is knocked out of her when she sees who's standing in front of her.

Without even giving Cassie a chance to say, 'Hello, Deanna,' - to test and make sure it really is her - she throws herself at her. Deanna wraps her arms around Cassie, burying her face in the crook of her long, elegant neck as she laughs and sobs in relief. Cassie takes a moment before she hesitantly returns her embrace, wrapping her arms around Deanna's waist and pulling her a bit closer, feeling  _home_ all of a sudden.

She doesn't say anything, not even as Deanna's grasp becomes almost painful, not even as she feels the unmistakable feel of a kiss being pressed to the corner of her neck, followed by another and another. Cassie ignores the churning in her stomach, how her legs feel weak all of a sudden and it has nothing to do with all the walking she's done the past two weeks.

But it's near enough impossible to ignore when Deanna pulls back, green eyes that Cassie's missed so much clashing with her own blue ones, and there's a pounding in her ears. The rush of blood that suddenly sweeps through her body, painting her with a soft pink and making her feel the best and worst she's ever felt.

There's no way she can ignore it now, not when Deanna is closer to her than she's ever been before, and she's not even protesting about "personal space", something that's normally so important to the hunter. She's so close that Cassie can see the constellation of freckles adorning her face, so many that she'll never be able to count, but she'd like to try nonetheless.

Then Deanna's lips are on hers and she doesn't care about counting freckles anymore. Deanna presses herself closer to Cassie, eyes flickering shut as she softly presses her lips against her Angel, a gentle touch at first to make sure that this isn't crossing a line that Cassie doesn't want to cross, but when the Angel doesn't push her away and gasps a little instead, that's all the encouragement Deanna needs.

She moves her hands from around Cassie's neck so they're entwined in her hair instead, and she presses her lips harder against her friend, relishing in the gasp and moans coming from Cassie already.

It's only brief but it's everything they've been waiting for and building towards, so Deanna really can't bring herself to complain when she pulls away, after only a few seconds.

'I've missed you.' She whispers, leaning her forehead against Cassie's, planning to just stay in her Angel's embrace until the end of time. However, the idea is quickly knocked from her mind when a gust of chilling wind cuts her to her bones, and she remembers the door is still open and Cassie isn't actually in the Bunker yet.

Deanna pulls herself away, reaching down to entwine her fingers with Cassie's, before she shuts the door after tugging her inside. She leads her down the stairs without another word.

'Want some coffee? You're fucking freezing.' Deanna enquires, pulling her hand free from Cassie's and moving towards the kitchen, even though Cassie hasn't actually answered her. Her hands were ice cold; if it were a cartoon, there'd be icicles hanging off her long, slender fingers. Deanna's not really going to let her say "no" to the question because of that.

Cassie looks around the room, before she follows Deanna and as soon as she can, she asks, 'Where's Samantha?'

Deanna stops, shoulders tense but when she remembers who it is asking, remembers what the doctors told her not that long ago, she finds the strength to answer.

She swallows, 'In bed. The trials… the last one; it was going to take her life, and I told her to stop and she did, but something happened and she nearly  _died_. She did die, for a minute actually, but they brought her back… they say she's going to be all right though. Tells me rest, fluids and all that crap will make her better. She needs to go back for some surgeries and blood transfusions as well, and they didn't want to let her out of hospital, but I… I didn't have enough money on me to pay it and sooner or later they'd've maxed out the cards and… so, she's in bed for now.'

She doesn't jump when Cassie's hand lands on her shoulder, gently squeezing it and coaxing her to turn around, but it's close. Her green eyes meet those brilliant blue ones, and it takes all her strength not to break down into tears.

'She's going to be fine.' Cassie declares, the conviction in her voice so strong Deanna doesn't even dream about protesting. 'If I could, I would heal her, but either way, she is going to be amazing and back to her strong self. I have seen so many miracles happen around you two; I doubt that's going to run out any time soon.'

A smile flickers onto Deanna's lips, the first smile she's gave in two weeks, and she replies, 'Thanks, Cassie, that - wait, what did you mean if you could? I thought the Angels just lost their wings when they fell?'

Cassie's quiet all of a sudden, her face falling and losing the conviction it previously held; no longer determined to make Deanna see that good things do happen, it's instead trying to shut off, to hide, and Dee doesn't like it one bit.

Cassie declares, after Deanna prompts her once more by calling her name, 'Metatron took my Grace. I'm… I'm human now.'

Deanna doesn't say anything, doesn't really know what to say to that right now, so Cassie continues, forges on because she takes Deanna's silence as rejection; she's just waiting for the hunter to turn around and tell her she's useless now, that she can't stay.

'It was the last part of the spell. An Angel's Grace and he took mine and he's got it, and he's kept it, and I have no way of getting it back. I'm stuck like this. I'm… I'm  _useless_ to you.'

'Hey!' Deanna chides, hand coming up to grab at Cassie's shoulder, leaning down just an inch to meet her gaze. 'You are not useless. You are more than your Grace, you are more than your powers. I want  _you_  here, Cassie, whether you be a human or an Angel or a damn Demon! I want  _you_ here with me, Cassie. I've told you before, I need  _you_. Not your fighting techniques or your healing powers or your wings. I want you and you alone. Capiche?'

Cassie studies her for a long moment, looking for any sign that she was lying to her but all she can see in her friend's bright green eyes is honesty and trust, so she nods her head. 'Yeah, I capiche.'

'Good. I'm just happy you're home.' Deanna says as she turns back to the coffee and pours both her and Cassie a cup.

When she turns back to her friend, who takes the cup with a small smile and deeply inhales the smell, she smiles herself. This is just  _right_.

'So, I get to stay?'

Thankfully, Deanna has swallowed her mouthful of coffee, otherwise she's sure she'd choke on it. She pulls her cup away from her mouth, studying Cassie with a raised eyebrow as if she doesn't understand the question at all. She scoffs and rolls her eyes, setting her cup down onto the counter and then pulling Cassie in closer by grabbing ahold of her hand.

She presses her lips against her soft, plump ones with a soft smile. It's another brief kiss, which is weird for Deanna but something is screaming at her to take it slow. They've been through so much together and they're just getting back on their feet; betrayal has come from both sides and she's pretty sure barging in headfirst would lead to them falling apart, not coming together.

She pulls back, a smirk on her lips as she squeezes the Castiel's hand that's still in her grasp.

'Of  _course_ , you assbutt.' She grins, sending a wink at her Angel, before she picks up her cup in her free hand and starts leading Cassie out of the kitchen. 'C'mon, I'm sure Sammy will want to see you.'

And as they walk towards Samantha's room, hand-in-hand and chatting away, Deanna can't help but wonder if this is how the boy's are playing it out, or if she's just got a good grasp at the whole "free will" thing.

But she hopes not; after all, those three deserve their happy ending too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoying this fic?? I'd love you forever if you bought me a coffee!! ko-fi.com/cahwrites
> 
> So, uh, yeah! That's the end of Highway to Hell! I can't believe it's over! But i hoped you enjoyed it nonetheless!
> 
> i'm planning on posting my HP/SPN crossover Thunderstruck (shh, i like AC/DC) tomorrow, so look out for that. don't forget i have a a [tumblr](http://ineedmyfallenangel.tumblr.com/) and a [facebook page](https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lottielovebuzzs-Fanfiction/154475354679423) you can like/follow for updates on writing and see my other work and such.
> 
> what else, i also made a [soundtrack](http://8tracks.com/lottielovebuzz/highway-to-hell) to this story, which consists of songs that inspired/helped me write this story, so if you want to listen to that, you totally can!
> 
> i think that's it! so i'm going to leave you with this edit i made but forgot to share with you guys! :D
> 
> [](http://s716.photobucket.com/user/CharlieCats-CATS/media/hth3-4.jpg.html)  
> 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Only My Comfort Shall Suffice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1094266) by [lottielovebuzz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lottielovebuzz/pseuds/lottielovebuzz)
  * [Desire for Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112404) by [lottielovebuzz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lottielovebuzz/pseuds/lottielovebuzz)




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